Must Be Raining Dogs

Cold

2010-06-08T14:58:00.000+08:00

He comes to her, he holds her,
He kisses her, but she turns her face,
He asks her what's wrong, aren't you my lover,
Or has someone else taken my place.

She laughs, softly, a low chuckle that gets lost in the breeze,
She looks at him with the tears that he hates to see,
And she says,

The man I thought I loved,
The man I once knew,
He has long since gone.
Yes, someone has taken his place.
Someone who knows not the difference between the truth and a lie.
Who worships deceit more than the benefit of his soul
Who looks upon me , with those lying eyes
Deceiving me into believing that he was reformed.

You used to be my shoulder to cry on,
Now someone else's shoulder I will seek,
No longer will I touch your hand,
For your hand is cold.

The Betrayal

2010-06-08T14:54:00.000+08:00

She stood there, staring at the screen, her heart both pounding incessantly, yet, so slowly , she could swear time was stopping. The empty sickening pit that was forming in her stomach made her feel like gagging, the tears that slowly gathered in the crook of her eye, so dangerously close to spilling. The raw anger and the brutal hurt welled up inside her, the sheer animal need to see him hurt, the way she had been. Yet, the still burning love for him.

She closed the computer.
She closed her eyes.
She wished for one moment that he never existed.
She wished for one moment that their paths had never crossed.
She wished that she had never said hello to him in class.
She wished that she had never touched him.
She wished he had never asked her out.
She wished he had never said I love you.
She wished for one moment that he had meant it.

She clenched her fists tightly, and tried not to cry.
The desperate tears drowning her, the violence of the heartache she felt, swelling through her fingers, the blood rushing through her, soaring, incredible, the highest high due to the lowest low. Her lips quivered, trying to keep back the strangled sob of hate. The insanity of the million emotions flooding through her. So much anger, anger she had never felt before. She tried to breathe, but she was so scared she'd just scream. She felt her body shake, the rancid smell of weakness flooding her brain, the vehemence towards which she did not regard his state, so much as her state of being. The disappointment that she had let him in. That she had believed. That she had trusted. Every lie, every truth, the difference so subtle, she could barely tell.
The words began to swim as the brine of emotion in her eyes continued to gather. There, in that moment, she died.

Some of the AMAZING songs I've heard recently, that I need to link lyrics

2009-12-20T17:21:00.000+08:00

Morning After Dark lyrics
Morning After Dark - Timbaland

Tick Tock aka Dolla lyrics
Ke$ha - Tik Tok

Undertow - The Fray

Muse- Uprising

Lyrics | Muse lyrics - Uprising lyrics

Muse- Undisclosed Desires

Lyrics | Muse lyrics - Undisclosed Desires lyrics

:) DONE

:D

2009-12-20T17:13:00.000+08:00

hahahaha, doesn't my title say it all :P pretty much the best title in the world? Yeah, I know, it was allllll me :P
Anyways erm, hmm, hmm, so much happened in such a short time, i don't know where to start?
Erm, firstly, you know about saturday? went out with some of meg's friends, had a bit of dimsum it was.......... actually it was like sex in a small chinese form :P *that's what she said * and omg, they were actually amazing, BUT so expensive :P like two dollars for the piece. if you have no idea what dim sum is * proper dim sum, not that silly stuff you get from the chip shops on the road :) ( chip shops are i think what australians call like roadhouses which sell food on road trips? you know them! )
dim sum is *hits up Lord Wikipedia*

Dim sum is the name for a Chinese cuisine which involves a wide range of light dishes served alongside Chinese tea. Yum cha (literally "drinking tea") is the term used to describe the entire dining experience, especially in contemporary Cantonese. It is usually served in the mornings until noon time at Chinese restaurants and at specialty dim sum eateries where typical dishes are available throughout the day. Dishes come in small portions and may include meat, seafood, and vegetables, as well as desserts and fruit. The items are usually served in a small steamer basket or on a small plate. Some Chinese families like to gather for dim sum on special occasions such as Mother’s Day or Chinese New Year. Also, Chinese parents like to bring their children there Sunday mornings to meet and talk with their grandparents. Some people bring newspapers with them and discuss news with their families

so there's dim sum :) you order like plates of it, and you can ONLY eat with chopsticks in the restaurant we went to ( near Billy Lee's )

Anyways, so Friday, we had Tofu at this place in Thornlie, and that was delish and I met Fang Shin! She's one of my old friends from Brunei and MY GOD she's gotten tall, unfairrrrrrr :P
but she's awesome and she's funny and we're going together with some of my old Canning friends to go watch It's Complicated! That's the movie with erm....meryl streep, that dude from 30 rock who was also 'the shadow' ( you know, that movie where the guy is like.... a superhero or summat? tries to get the WEIRDEST looking sword .... LINKAGE
............
Or not :P
This linkage fail brought to you by Nethra Inc. )
anyways, alec baldwin, i figured out , the guy who also called his daughter a little pig? THAT'S THE ONE. The one who was shagging kim bassinger, ooooohhhhhhh yeaaahhh that's it! SF* = 10

Anyways, him and steve martin.I'd tell you the story, but i have nfi sooooo let's move along then.
So dim sum the next day ( we're practically chinese now ) , then came back, helped mum out and meg stayed out with her friends, then i left home at 5.30 and that's when awesome ensued :P me + h + m + s + a + l went to the paramount, and it was fun getting hit on and getting all my drinks bought for me ( YES ALL MY DRINKS . but we were fairly trashed, had like two shots of tequila before going out, THAT DRINK IS ACTUALLY POISON :P ) and yeah, didn't need to drink too much, and we just danced in our own group, and we're hot, and we know it :P hahaha, got back at 5 a.m. which is actually far more clubbing that I've been in a while so YAY :D impressive effort. I found this dress in the box of clothing i bought, and since i've lost some weight in the last week, it fit perfectly! YEW! I'm pretty awesome :P
Buuuuuuuuuuttttttt I had NO hangover? Because for once, i actually ate a tad before we went out, because you know h and m, fairly sure they're like advocates of responsible predrinking lmao. Yummy green thai chicken curry, we're talented group effort!
and then h dropped me home on her way to mandurah, and I got changed then went out for meg's bbq with mum :) we made some new friends, some of meg's work mates. I just realised how nice it feels to be checked out :P Officially dressing up everyday just to check myself out hahahaha.
Yeah.
I'm THAT up myself :(
j/k
Anyways, erm, we went for that bbq thingo, sat on the ground, and talked about a whole bunch of things, australians are a ton of fun to get along with, anddddd I drank red wine out of a glass in front of my family!!! :S mum wants us all to start drinking red wine now! healthy and all
anyways erm, we finished the bbq, got to meet santa, had a whippy!
and erm, then we drove down to mandurah and BOUGHT our spa yewwwwww it should be delivered on new years or a day or two after :D I'm sooo excited, pretty much going to just bubble away in the spa and chill out :)
and yeah, that was my weekend! brb =)
CIAO
xoxo
Netty

Puppies!

2009-12-19T00:29:00.000+08:00

SOOOOOOO cute :)

xoxo netty

tomorrow, i go out for dimsum!

The Lighter Side of Life :P

2009-12-18T13:13:00.005+08:00

Soooooooooo

Just spent the last , i dunno, two hours watching nip/tuck. Dear god, what a show :P fairly sure this is what inspired me to do medicine a couple of months ago, and I still want to, but yeah, we'll see how life goes :P I'm glad that I at least have my mother and father and sister supporting on me. GFU to that other dude :P

Anywho, watching nip/tuck and BY GOLLY GEE julian mcmahon is gorgeous! and the other surgeon isn't so bad too. Which makes me wonder, would someone be more likely to get plastic surgery from someone good looking? I mean, an ugly doctor doesn't know his stuff if he's a plastico? clearly, stupid reasoning, but thank god there are goodlooking niptuckers :P

I was thinking about getting surgery, you know, a little pull here, a lot of push there, and i'll be shiny again! :D and then 'that other dude' will really regret letting me go :P

Oh, and btw, i am obsessed with Tik Tok by Ke$ha :P

brb! xoxo

Netty

I'm Dreaming of A Thing Starting With T

2009-12-18T11:38:00.003+08:00

Hey hey hey,

Wow, my second blog post in under 24 hours. does this make me a serious blogger? :P i feel like breaking out the printer and the glitter glue and making a shiny certificate. something snazzy, to show the kids :P with like cake all over it, because i've been eating cake for the last five seconds, and my fingers are covered in yummy, tia-maria-flavoured, with excess of vanilla essence, cake. soooooooo good.

Cake and chocolate really do make you feel a lot better ya know, :) like ..... warm showers ( hot showers pref :P though in summer the cold water tap on full is the same effect , darn you australian plumbing ), and sunny days with a bit of cloud, so you can go chill on a piece of grass and nibble on some lunch and just life catch up on its own :)

So anyways, decided to blog this time because of a dream I had, and it was really weird. It's one of those dreams where you wake up crying because you realise how utterly true it's going to be, and that's sad?

Anyways, the dream started out with me sitting in a car and tim's in the car with me. And we're not talking, not saying a word to each other just in our own worlds. then we're driving at like 200 km/h and i'm telling tim, please, slow down, if you love me, you'd slow down. So obviously, he starts speeding up and I'm crying and pleading with him to please slow down and then he looks at me for a second and says, i don't love you, and then the car crashes into the one in front of us but tim turns the wheel just in time so that the car veers to the right, and instead hits a full on impact on my side, and then i see him getting out of his side quickly by unbelting and stuff, and he starts talking to the guy in the car in front who's a 4wd driver and they're talking about insurance and oh, you know, these sort of accidents happen and nothing bad really happened and then the guy in the front car goes round to my side to check the damage there and he sees me just slumped over the wheel and blood is seeping out from my mouth and he starts yelling and saying, HEY there's a girl here ,she's REALLY badly injured, and tim just looks at him and goes, oh, her? nah, don't worry about it, i'll take care of her, and the guy in the car at the front looks suspiciously at tim and then goes, no, sorry, i'm taking her to the hospital, and tim says, meh, suit yourself, i'm not worried, and then he gets into the tow truck and drives away while this guy has put me in his care gently and his wife sits at the back to support my neck and they drive me to the hospital. and then the doctor tells them that i probably died on impact, and so they walk into the hospital room where i'm lying and there are scars and bruises and i'm bleeding into the gauze and they start crying and then they call my mum and dad and sister, and dad flies in from brunei and almost has a heart attack after he hears the news and they're all sitting there, all around my bed, holding my hand and weeping, and saying why did it have to be her? and meanwhile, i'm reliving all the memories i had of my family, like how my dad used to pick me up on his shoulders and carry me around the house. or how we used to go cycling in the park. how mum used to make breathing chicken fry :P how my sister defended me when dad was going to hit me with a hot oil ladle. how my sister spent all her bonus to get me the wii, how my mother cooks everyday and is so committed to my health. and then i started remembering all the times i had with tim, like the britney concert, the sneaky concert, the pink concert. singing along to songs, having him holding me from behind and supporting me so i don't fall over, and holding my place in line and trying desperately to like britney so i can enjoy it too. :) and things like how on our first date he bought me a rose and a teddy bear and we went and saw i now pronounce you chuck and larry, then we went to the foreshore and had our first kiss/notkiss

and then the next day when he came over and we watched movies together. I always think of that day when i'm watching movies with him, just being together, and kissing and hugging and not having to worry about being somewhere else, cuz right here was warm and good enough.

Then i think about how he used to walk me home from the bus stop, and recently from the train station, and how we used to talk about so much. and hiding from my family, and avoiding bus routes, and all the stress of that. I think about how we went to Mandurah for his 22nd b'day and we won prizes like katie the duck who is now my dog's pillow in the winter :P and pulling stupid faces in the train.

I think about how we used to go to the paramount and dance together, and he used to always make sure i was safe and pay for stuff even though he hadn't had much money on him.

I think about how we used to go play cards at wongs and get stuffed to the brim with chinese food.

all those memories just flashed by, and then i see him walking around happily even though i'm dead, he doesn't care at all, like i literally meant nothing to him anymore, and he's got a girl with him, and they're smiling and grinning and someone comes up to him and says, hey sorry about net, man, that's a tragedy, and he just laughs and he says, GOOD RIDDANCE. thank god i didn't stay with her for longer than 2 years. and then i'm sitting at the curtin bus stop watching him laugh with this girl as they get on the bus and he finds a seat then pulls away so she can get in first, and then puts his arm around her and the bus drives off and i'm just staring at them and crying knowing that he doesn't care if i'm dead or alive anymore, that he's so much happier now that he's with someone else. and then it comes back to the hospital room, and i'm lying there, and my mum pulls the plug on me, and she breaks down in tears, just clutching to the bedsheets and screaming, oh god please don't go, please wake up and everyone's trying to pull her away and calm her down, and everybody's crying, except tim.

and then i realised, when i woke up, that this is it, this is what my life is trying to tell me. that tim's gone from my life, that there's no point in wanting him to love me again, or wanting flowers on the odd occasion, or texts or even talking to him. he wants someone else, he wants to be with someone else, and even if i died today or tomorrow, it wouldn't make a difference to his life in any way.

And that makes me sad, thinking of how little I've come to mean to him, when he's always meant so much to me. And I guess, that's just how life is, you take and you give. but it was so upsetting to see mum and dad and meg sad too. I hope that if i die, they get to move on, and don't carry the sadness of my death with them. I hope meg gets married the way i wanted to get married, and is happy, and has a ton of kids, and a lovely husband , someone who'll take care of her and protect her and loves her a trillion times more than she loves him.

and i hope mum and dad stay well, and i hope they grow very old together and are happy to have grandkids, and have more money now that they don't have to spend any on me.

and lastly, i hope tim gets what he wants, because I couldn't give it to him. I hope Tim is happy with the concept of me no longer being in his life, that he'll never get to hug or kiss me again, that all those memories of him and me together are torn up now that he doesn't want me anymore. I hope Tim is happy with the concept of watching me walk away and get married to some other guy, and realises that he was so close to being that guy. I hope tim can live with the fact that one day I will die and he wasn't there to hold my hand through it. But realistically, i hope tim is happy. that's really all i've ever wanted, but never been able to convey. i hope that if i pass on, everything will be ok. it'll probably be like i never existed. in fact, if i pass away, i doubt anyone would notice. least of all tim.

Ah, dear, this is a very emo post, but yeah anywas that was my dream :)

moving onto more entertaining things,

I HAVE MASTERED HARRY POTTER. I've cleard 100% of the game, with all the silly discovery beans and all. really anticlimatic. you just sit there and stare at it going, really? that's the ending?

oh and have i told you i've been on a diet and been wii fitting the crap out of myself! i'm aiming for a summer bod for summer end. :) it'll be great!

I still have my scholarship btw for engineering, so it's all good!

and oh, erm, i'm going out this saturday for lunch with han mel and the chem people, and then clubbing in the night. and the spa is being bought early saturday morning and will be delivered soon! and oh, on sunday, we're going for meg's xmas bash at hamilton hill park where we get to meet all her workmates and have a drink and a good time.

I've got a plan. I'm not going to hook up, i think. It's just too much stress being in that situation lol. And a bit stupid. But Tim's going to hook up .... so i have no idea? I don't know if i should, out of revenge, or if i shouldn't because it violates not only my morals, but also because I still love tim, I don't think i'd be able to do it?

Is it really stupid of me to still love tim? it is, isn't it? I should just move on like he has, cuz he clearly doesn't give a shit about me anymore. So I should, like..... delete his number off my phone, and all the pictures, and just be like him , right? ...... but i can't? It's really weird. But I'm not going to let him see me pining for him, i'm not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much it hurts for me to watch him go.

Deal! :)

and oh, bloggiekins, on new years eve, when i'm out clubbing on han's b'day, i solemnly promise not to hook up if tim says he wants me back. otherwise, i will kiss one boy, but that's it. just a kiss for new years .

ciao ciao!

you know you love me

xoxo

Nettles

Life as It Is

2009-12-17T20:38:00.005+08:00

Heya all,

wow i actually haven't been here in a while to say anything. Life just does funny things like that. Like this one time, at band camp.....

:P OH NO I DIDN'T .

Yeah, officially, I've watched all 6 American Pie movies.

........

.............

.........................

OMG I'm ADDICTED. Seriously, I would like to date the Stiffmeister. Just to watch him puke all over the place after having a very tainted glass of beer. and even though the last couple of american pies didn't have anyone from the first 3, they were still pretty hilarious. My brain is just sort of taking a time out for this month of merrymaking I reckon :P

My TV so far :

The Office America ( THIS IS ACTUALLY THE BEST SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND I SWEAR )

Supernatural

Stargate Universe ( Omg, actually interesting! *dies of shock* )

Robot Chicken ahhahahahahhahhahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahha

........ okies, my h button just stuck. it's like , ' will you stop abusing me, woman? ' sorry, h button, sorry. uuh oh, i pressed h again.

oh and again. i hit it again

:O and again!

I'll stop that now. Where was I?

Oh, yeah, let's see.................

How I Met Your Mother.( SLAPSGIVING)

and so many other shows :P so life's been un-boring :P I still suck at Super Smash Bros Brawl but that's for another time :)

oh, erm, what's new with me? I failed a unit in Engineering :S :S :S but ya know what, i've got everything sorted, so it's all good. Given up on being a doctor though :P I think my future lies in the mines with those big, burly gruff types :P

If you have NO idea what i'm on about :

without the good looking smile.

Erm, what else has happened? Oh , Tim, my boyfriend, or ex boyfriend ( ?) has dumped me, which you know, is not exactly what I wanted ever, but ya know what, it's not like he's crying so I'm not going to give him the satisfaction. I don't think there's a bone left in his body that feels anything for me, which is sad cuz just a week ago he wanted me to keep his Lord of The Rings ring as a sign to show he was coming back. Lucky for him, I refused because I knew how bare he felt without the ring. Who knew it'd really be that lucky :P

But yeah, I'm just going to stay single for now, coast the clear waters, I'm guessing he's going to be hooking up with every single girl he can find now that he's FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :P

ah well, that's life right? :D

Onto nicer things!

We're getting a spa, like a 5 person, aromatherapy, hydrotherapy, buttcaketherapy spa with bubblies and warmlies :D it's called the Relaxer, so it BETTER DAMN WELL RELAX.

Or else I will do my sad face

It will be exciting. Anyways, what did I get on to blog about?......

I CAN'T REMEMBER :S let's blog about that.

Fairly sure I'm losing my mind/memory/chocolate craving tendencies with time, like today I was meant to text Hannah and tell her what I was wearing for this party thing, and instead I just sat there and stared at the phone for about half an hour trying to figure out how they made those thin filmy things. You know, the thin protective filmy things that don't actually protect your phone screen, they just collect dirt and grime and make it look SOOOO awful when you have like... a piece of park in it. I mean, I'm sure at some point, that look will catch on, but till then, I'd rather not be able to see a small colony of worms making babies on my phone screen ty.

AND OMG bubbles are not meant to be annoying, they're meant to be really enjoyable, however, under protective film, I actually have palpatations trying to push them out from under the film. It's like

Pretty much that's me, without the blue suit ( I'm probably colorblind ) and the strange hair cut. Not to mention he seems to not be as tanned ( read : black ) as me.

this is me , if i was famous and like.. on a billboard

Yeah.... pretty celebritesque :P

anywho

have i mentioned I'm going for Lady Gaga and Backstreet Boys, it's going to be soooooooooooooooooooo AMAZING. I can already picture myself pashing Nick Carter, and yes I would go gay for Lady Gaga cuz she has a weiner and that's a perk :p

alrighty, i'll be back tomorrow for more bore-the-crap-off-your-face blogging! ciao and you know you love me

xoxo

Netty

Car Crash Waiting To Happen

2009-11-05T00:16:00.002+08:00

Here we are again,

Same old story,

Telling our tale,

The one where they get to see Prince Charming fail,

The one where they forgot to say that this ending,

Couldn't be happy unless they did a lot of pretending.

Prince Charming and his princess they were one.

Hand in hand, they had so much fun.

But then, he would ride his great steed into the night,

And out of mind proved to happen when she was out of sight.

I'm that princess,

The one you left back,

The girl who wishes that she crossed your mind.

I'm the broken heart,

I'm the one you tore apart,

Now it's time for forgetting, but not forgiving,

Because you and I both could see it clear back then,

We were just a car crash waiting to happen.

I'd say, Hey, honey, how are you?

Wouldn't hear anything for a day or two,

Call up your cellphone just to hear your voice,

You're so sleepy on the other end, you just don't sound so nice.

I wait night and day to hear the phone ringing,

To feel like maybe I'm the one you're thinking,

Of when you sleep,

When you dream,

When you laugh and when you cry,

But no , I'm not,

So I'll just learn your lie.

Oh, when flames come crawling to burn these bridges down,

I won't stand here and regret,

When the whole world stops except you and me now,

I won't do the things you expect,

No ,

I'm that girl,

The one you left back,

The girl who wishes that she crossed your mind.

I'm the broken heart,

The one you tore apart,

Time's come now for forgetting and forgiving,

Because after all, we knew, we were just a car crash waiting to happen.

Little Girl

2009-09-17T23:08:00.004+08:00

Hey there, little girl,
I see you crying there,
Your little red dress and your pretty little tears,
You're crying cuz you know why I've called you here
You know what I'm about to say,
You and him, it's time to call it a day.

Those pearls he gave you, just cut the string and throw them away.
Like your love for him, the memories will fade away.
Don't worry about the pictures, I'll help you burn them
Don't worry about your heart, girl, I'll help you hurt him,
I'll help you look him right in the eye when you're ready,
I'll help you tell him goodbye, when your voice gets steady.
And I'll be here to make your tears dry,
Oh, baby girl, why do you cry?

You gotta grow up fast, in this hurtful world,
I know you're innocent, and you trust, you crazy little girl,
Don't take no for an answer,
Don't let him pull you back in,
Don't let him think that in the end, your lalalala love can win,
Because here's the truth that I've been trying to keep from you,

This is what he's doing, what's he doing, tonight this is what he is gonna do,
He's cheating, cheating really badly on you,
This is true, and you've known it,
Love's old-school these days,
Yeah, you've blown it.

All that makeup and that pretty black hair,
He led you daintily down the stair,
Pretty necklace and not a trace of despair,
Could've sworn he was barely there.
Sunset dangling on your cheek,
Did he even give you a chance to speak?
As he whispered, "darling, please don't cry,
I really did give this whole thing a try,
But I just don't feel the same,
And its not you, it's me to blame."

Don't let it get to you,
It's really not your fault that he couldn't be true,
He's a man, and that's their schtick,
The only brain he has is in his dick.
All the pictures of other girls on his phone,
And the videos he kept at his home,
Yet , chance after chance you gave him,
Hoping he'd find the strength within,
To resist the temptation of looking at other girls,
When to you, he was your entire world.

Now, now, stop this crying,
You know it'll pass, all the pain,
And one day you'll learn to feel again,
Take it a day at a time,
He'll realise you're now mine.
He'll be kicking himself so hard that you're holding my hand,
I know it's hard right now, but in a year , you'll understand.

This is what he's doing, what's he doing, tonight this is what he is gonna do,
He's cheating, cheating really badly on you,
This is true, and you've known it,
Love's old-school these days,
Yeah, you've blown it.

Stop

2009-09-17T22:01:00.003+08:00

Does it matter now,
That the things you've done and said are what's led us to this,
This moment where all I want to do is say goodbye,
Give you one last chance to show you love me, and this kiss,
You know you can't hold me down,
I can't take the physical blackmail,
The chains you've tied to me,
I've tried to stop the pain,
But my heart's a part of your anatomy.

Stop this,
Now, this pain, this hurt, again and again,
Stop the fighting and the screaming,
The hurting and my hoping,
That you'll be the man you once were,
Because now there's no forever.

Don't tell me that I'm overreacting,
If there was ever one occasion for me to feel this way,
Then this would be that one thing,
That makes me want to throw all the pictures in the bin,
I'm sorry, love, but you have no idea what state I'm in,
You say, put the past behind us,
Let's keep this thing we've got going strong,
But, baby, I hate to throw you under the bus,
But this was just a lie that keeps going on.

But now,
It's time,
Time to put a stop to this pain.
Stop to this hurt.
Stop to the nights lying under the sheets trying to wipe away my tears.
Time to stop wanting,
Wanting you to call without waiting,
Waiting for you to love me like I've been needing,
And needing till I can't feel anything at all anymore.
There's nothing left here for you to stay for.

Nothing in this empty space I used to call my heart,
Nothing left here for you to say you an claim a part , of
And every time you say my name,
It makes me scream inside,
Because hearing it just makes me so ashamed,
To think that I ever let you into my life,
To think that there was a moment I wanted to be your wife.

No, no, no, make it stop.
Stop this,
Now, this pain, this hurt, again and again,
Stop the fighting and the screaming,
The hurting and my hoping,
That you'll be the man you once were,
Because now there's no forever.

No forever with you.

Shattered

2009-08-25T23:53:00.003+08:00

There's not enough time in my life to hate you,
Not enough time to wish you never existed,
Nothing left in my heart for you,
So go on, walk away before I make you regret you ever lived.

No one has ever treated me like you did,
No one has ever made me love you like you did,
No one has ever gotten away with a lie like you did,
But here's to knowing ya, kid.

Here's to you,
Here's to us,
Here's to all the lies, you left inside,
Now watch me throw you under the bus.
Here's to you,
Here's to all your games,
That you play,
I hope today,
You die in your pain.

Loving you,
Was like loving a thorn in my side,
Hating you,
Was so much easier not to hide,
Wanting you,
I resisted the desire not to cry,
Needing you,
You won't ever bring any more tears to my eyes.

Because you know that you don't have that effect on me,
No, not anymore, I'm loving the way you look when you walk out that door.
And all the pain that wells up inside,
I refuse to let you walk out of here alive.
I'll cut into your sweet facade,
You'll be wishing you could change who you are.

So come on, step up, take your shot,
At this stone cold beating heart,
Come on, wake up, take your bets,
Will I crack or will I scar,
Your poor little broken-hearted pool of lies,
Please don't look at me with those cheating eyes.

Here's to you,
Here's to us,
Here's to all the lies, you left inside,
Now watch me throw you under the bus.
Here's to you,
Here's to all your games,
That you play,
I hope today,
You die in your pain

And no, I feel nothing.
No remorse.
No shame.
I'm too tired to play this game.
And no, I won't shed a tear.
Nothing for you,
Go on, get out of here.
And no, I won't hurt your friends,
They don't,
They won't
They never really cared.
No, the only bounty I want is sitting right there in your hands.

Here's to you,
And all the lying that you know how to do,
I hope the next girl that has to entertain you,
Is ready to be loved by a experienced liar.
Here's to me,
And all the happiness I now have the right to feel,
And watching you go just seems to get more real.

Oh, baby, please, don't act so flattered,
It's not like any of this really mattered,
I just wrote to let you know,
Nothing you can ever do will make me hurt so,
Thank you but you see,
You just don't exist to me,
And when everything else is better,
Here's to you, here's to me, here's to us, we're shattered.

Nothing Else Matters

2009-08-25T23:26:00.002+08:00

Nothing Else Matters -Me * no relation to metallica*
It's the holiday now, you're asking me how it feels to be loved,
To be in your heart, to be on your mind,
Well, honey, it's like I'm soaring above,
All the pain, all the troubles, everything that got washed away in the rain,
And all you are to me is all I ever wanted.

You're holding me now,
Nothing else matters but the way you whisper my name,
You're begging me now,
Begging me to leave with you and letting me know that it'll never be the same,
As all the days and the chaos, the hate and the loss,
I know now, oh I know now,
That nothing else matters

When you're here,
Listening to all my silly ideas,
Watching my eyes glitter with my tears,
Wiping them away and kissing me softly to sleep
Yeah, this is the life.

This is how it's meant to be,
When nothing else really matters except you and me,
Where nothing they say and nothing they know,
Will ever change the way my love for you will grow,
So here's all I need right now,
In your arms, we'll make it somehow,
Here's what I need, in your soul,
Nothing else matters when we rock and roll.

Someday Soon

2009-08-25T22:47:00.002+08:00

Have you ever woken up sometimes and just thought, goddamnit, life just isn't that bad, is it?
And then you get dressed, have a bath, walk out and it rains down upon you like God is just about as emo as he's gonna get. And you stand there thinking, it's ok, i have an umbrella
Then you step in a puddle
then you get all soggy
then you smell like wet dog
then you're on a train and it smells like a giant fart
then you get off the train and now you smell like a wet dog who just farted
then you get onto a bus and you now look like a wet dog who just farted who is also sitting close to someone else who smels like a wet dog who just farted
then you go to uni and sit in a whole lecture theatre of boys and someone just farted
and you go home.
Well, THAT'S MY LIFE :P
Oh, and so is poetry
so here goes! :)

Wishing On You -Me

So here it goes,
The story as it's written, as it's told
No torn up pages, no ink that's gotten too old,
Just simple letters, in the smallest picture that I can paint,
Of how you were mine, and now you ain't.
And of all the laughs, and all the tears we cried,
And how beautiful we really looked that night,
And how something slowly was dying inside,
And how every night I'm wishing for your hand in mine

I'm wishing on a rainbow
Wishing on a star,
Somewhere out there,
That's where you are,
Your eyes, your smile, your perfect way of making me feel like it's all okay
It just can't all be true, so
I'm wishing on you, for you.

So I'm standing here,
Hoping that somewhere out there you left a clue,
Of what I'm meant to do in my life without you,
No one left here in this desert to understand,
How it feels to not hold your hand.
To not know that you're walking back down the street,
Arms open wide, waiting to hug me,
Wiping away tears and piecing together all my dreams,
Why does God take away everything,
And leave me here with nothing, but memories of you, and me

Wishing on a rainbow,
Wishing on a star,
I don't know where you went, boy, but I know it's too far,
I just wanna hear your voice, feel your fingers on my face,
I wish to hell I'd get out of this place,
But I'm just so tired of running,
Why can't I stop wishing on you,
For You.

All I remember now is you standing here,
Just this spot, right here, next to this tree,
I remember you living life without a fear,
And then the headlights spinning and I wasn't near,
I remember the way you looked into my eyes,
The way you held my hand and whispered goodbye
The way you made it seem like you were free,
But how could you,
How could you,
Leave me wishing on you, wishing on me.

Maybe It's

2009-08-19T16:02:00.002+08:00

I'd really like to write this down,
Quickly, softly, make no sound.
Hope that you at least take a minute,
To realise the amount of pain I've put in it.
These letters, characters, jumping out of the page,
Don't know if you can truly read the rage,
But I swear right now I'm slapping you senseless,
Leaving you defenseless,
With every word, and every last note I play.

Maybe it's because you laughed , because you cried,
But the one thing you didn't do was try,
Maybe it's because you said you'd always hold me through the hardest nights,
Maybe I ,should have told you,
But nothing inside me could bring me to know you,
To know you were going to hurt me so bright with your
Blinding lights.

Every step I take now,
Bringing me closer to your front door,
Can you hear the tune inside my head,
My heart is bursting so hard I feel so sore.
And nothing I do right now,
Is going to make this any better,
I just wish you'd goddamned died before you did it,
I wouldn't be writing this letter, about her.

But I think
Maybe it's the way you said my name,
Calling me on the phone and never treating her the same,
Always listening to my stupid dreams,
I never realised how quick it all seemed,
Maybe I should have cut open all those heart-shaped boxes,
Found all your letters to her
Maybe that lie was just a little better
Just a little better.

I'm standing here,
In the rain,
Just on my lip,
The polish on my fingernails,
My sanity's starting to slip.
Clutching the dripping sheet of paper,
All it says is " Thanks, I'll see ya later,
I hope you do so well, with her hand in yours,
I hope you do so well, that the rain starts to pour,
I hope she screams in your ears,
Screams in your face,
Makes you wish you hadn't given up the chase,
But you'll never have me now,
Never have me now,
Never have me now..... It's too late"

Waking Up Asleep

2009-04-22T23:06:00.002+08:00

Nobody notices my tears,
Nobody sees how you've cut me so deep.
Nobody sees the lies behind my fears,
They tell me stop your foolishness,
Why do you cry for a man that once was,
When all he's done is hurt you bad,
Is it because I've gone completely mad.

Is it because I feel like without him I'm waking up asleep
Is it because without his voice , this heart will cease to beat
Is it because that I can live with his lies,
As long as he lives with me.

Sometimes I walk alone on the street,
Remembering how his hand used to guide me,
Lead me away from the dark,
Sitting by lakes in a park.
And then he did what he did
I guess he had to do what he had to do
But it makes me mad to have loved him completely,
But then again, I'd be lying if I said I didn't love you

Is it because when you looked at me and told me you were confused
That my heart shattered into pieces, because you let my trust fall through
Is it because your eyes so well disguised all your gut-wrenching lies
Is it because no matter what you say, I can't leave your

Body,
Can't leave your
Soul
I can't forget the promises
I can't even listen to rock and roll
I can't stop looking at those messages
I can't stop wondering why
I can't stop thinking about missed chances
I can't even stop to cry
I can't remember what we once were
Because I can't stop forgetting who we are
I can't imagine you without thinking of her
I can't erase the scar

I wish I could forget
Erase these memories
Go back to what we once were,
Before your loyalty left me
I wish I could slap you,
Turn you back into my prince,
I wish you could write me letters,
But you haven't held me since.

And I'm sleeping under the covers,
Hugging my pillow,
I'm sleeping on your shoulder
Wishing you didn't let go
I'm sleeping in your empty space,
Still smelling your scent,
I'm wishing I hadn't said,
All those things that I meant
And I'm wishing that you could keep,
My heart in a safer place,
But I'm so tired of waking up asleep,
I'm so tired of your smiling face.

Pick Up

2008-10-04T01:30:00.004+08:00

Ticking,
Ticking,
The clock is ticking,
And my heart is beating still.
Sticking,
Sticking,
My shirt is sticking,
To my body as I swallow another chill.
Loving,
Loving,
Loving you,
Is taking,
Taking,
So much out of me,
Being,
Being,
Being around you,
Is the best feeling I wanted to never feel.

Because I , I'm in love with you,
I love you, yeah, you,
With no questions asked anymore,
But I , I don't know what to do
Because I love , love you,
But you won't pick up your phone.
Won't pick up your

Early Monday, I give you a ring,
Say hello, and good morning,
You say hey, hey, please put down the phone now,
I got a dream to catch up to.
And I've had those beautiful moments,
Where your voice breaks the silence,
And I've had those beautiful minutes,
Where I realise I'm in a race, and you're gonna win it.

I, I really love you, really love you,
Yes, I really really really
But I, don't know what to do,
Driving me crazy, you,
Because I want to hear your voice
Pick up the phone, boy

I love hearing you say my name first thing everyday
I love watching you come up to me, telling me that it's all okay
I love listening to the sound of your heartbeat, I can almost hear it now,
I love knowing that you're loving me, loving me,
But then you break it all,
Break it all,
When you put down the phone,
Yeah, you cancel the call.
Don't you see it now,
Exactly how,
You're breaking my heart,
Turning it upside down,
You're breaking my heart
By not making a sound.

And I
Really Love you
Don't know what to do
And you pretty much are stuck to me too,
But you, you're such a fool
Such a crazy dude,
Don't even talk long enough to tell me the truth

Because I , I'm in love with you,
I love you, yeah, you,
With no questions asked anymore,
But I , I don't know what to do
Because I love , love you,
But you won't pick up your phone.
Won't pick up your
Won't pick up your phone.

And now I'm getting your messagebank tone.
-------------------------------------------------

In your arms again

2008-10-04T00:47:00.003+08:00

Today I spoke,
I said,
I whispered,
I made a sound,
That got drowned in the wind.
Today I laughed,
I cried,
I slept here,
I tried to scream,
But all I could hear was my heartbeat within.

I want to wake up and understand,
I want to wake up and touch
Your hand.
I want to wake up and feel the pain,
I want to cry, I want to cry,
In your arms again.

I heard you say,
You don't know me anymore,
I heard you wish,
You could touch my core,
I heard you laughing,
While you were on the phone,
I heard you whispering,
You just left me alone.

I heard your apathy,
I heard your sad smile,
I heard you laugh at me,
I heard it all the while,
I cried on my shoulder,
Because you wouldn't offer me yours,
I knew it was over,
You knew by my scars......

I want to wake up and understand,
I want to wake up and touch
Your hand.
I want to wake up and feel the pain,
I want to cry, I want to cry,
In your arms again.

You got up from the bed,
I got up from the floor,
You kissed my hair,
I ran to the front door,
Nobody saw us, standing there in pain,
Not that their words would helped, their words in vain,
I, I , I know, I know now,
That you, you , you know, that this isn't going to work out,
But how, how , how , how,
Do I make you stop leaving me,
How do I make you stop hating me,
How do I make you start loving , needing, wanting, breathing, feeling, seeing,

I want to wake up and understand,
I want to wake up and touch
Your hand.
I want to wake up and feel the pain,
I want to cry,
I want to cry,
In your arms again.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Welcome Back To The Rain

2008-07-28T12:07:00.002+08:00

Hey all,
So,
We're all slowly trickling back to uni. If you're a Curtin Uni student, odds are on that you had to start uni with an 8 a.m. class Monday Morning sharp, and today is the....................................28th of July! Ok, so the fullstops were precisely how long it took me to get to that date. And I couldn't be buggered scrolling all the way down to the calendar option.
As we speak, I am progressively MELTING in the Canning College Library thingo, where all the computers are. Very strange, very very strange. It's like no one has invented thermostats in Canning :P
Oh, I remember when it was really cold, we used to come and camp out at the lounge .
So anyways, what was I on about? Erm, oh, yes. Well,
Welcome Back To Uni people! 6 weeks, gosh , what a long time. I feel sufficiently well-rested, although my eyes are tired because of my contacts drying up but other than that, everything's alright. :)
How were the holidays for you? Hope you're a bit more tanned than usual, and that you weren't spending the entire thing stuck in this little itty city we like to call Perth. God the weather has been a sight hasn't it?! It's been raining and raining and raining!!!! But it hasn't been too bad. I've gotten up to a lot of stuff since I last blogged.
Major Event No. 1 = MY BIRTHDAY! I am finally and absolutely legal! I am 18, I can now get alcohol at the bar without feeling bad, I can go clubbing without getting busted, it's allllllllllllll gooooooooodddddddddddddddd. My life has a new awesomness to it. =)
I'm trying to convince my parents to let me go clubbing, but I highly doubt they'll ever bend on that one =S
I had massive massive amounts of fun clubbing, btw. It was excellent.
Here's a list of the drinks I consumed over the two day period that was my b'day celebrations :
1. Midori Vodka
2. Vodka Lemon and Lime
3. Smirnoff Black
4. Jagerbombs
5. Fruit Tingles
6. Cocksuckin' cowboys
7. Bourbon
8. Jam doughnuts
9. This one drink that was sharp but I couldn't tell what it waS?
I LOVE THE PARAMOUNT AND THE SHED.
Excellent clubs, didn't mind the Deen. But I'm deffo heading back to the Paramount. =)
It was good, the lower level was mainly mainstream live music, the top was hardcore disco music, it was amazing, and I danced and drank and danced, and I did it all with one of my best mates, Bec and her bf Paul, as well as my darling Timmy. And then later one of my mates from Uni along with this other girl Tira came along, so did Casey. It was all alll allll allllllll FUN

tim and i of course cannot enjoy ourselves without having any hiccups along the way. On the first night, Friday, the 18th of July ( what are the odds that I celebrate my 18th on the 18th :P ) , Tim and I first went to the Shed then after half an hour, went to the Deen. And then, we were way way way too stingy to catch a cab back home, so.... WE STAYED IN THE 24 hours Maccas on Barrack/ Murray/hay ( was too navigationally-dysfunctional to tell which street it was) and we stayed in the EXTREMELY COLD WEATHER till about 7 a.m. then we caught a train then a bus back home and collapsed on the bed, slept till 5 p.m. then went out to the paramount. and saturday night was the shed paramount then we had to wait out till 6 before we caught a CAB! IN THE FREEZING COLD! IN A VERY VERY SKIMPY DRESS! I never wanna do that again! GAWD :P
But it was worth it, every second of it, was worth the cold. I swear to god. :P
I really hope I can go again, I really do. Mum, MEG! PLEAAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE

So, anyways, other than that, I mostly bummed around, went to the gym, watched movies off Tim's hard drive, all good fun. Oh, I've been watching back to back episodes of season 2 one tree hill ( OH GOD I HOPE DAN DIES ) and back to back eps of The OC ( Season 2 is almost done WHEEEEEEEEEEE I need moar!) and also I finished the first season of Sex and The City. WOOt.

So , good good life.
=)
xx

Somebody In Kansas City Loves Me

2008-07-08T10:16:00.002+08:00

La la la.
I'm feeling a tad emo today, which is why i decided to revamp my blog look, maybe go for the more emo pink black thing. Its not that i'm becoming emo, I'm just having a downer day.

On a brighter note, I am listening to some sexalicious music. Absolutely addicted to Kansas City by Sneaky Sound System. I swear, this band cannot make a bad song. There's somethng juicy and scrumptious about their song, a sort of desperate need for someone across the world, a heady mix of electro beats, and coupled with a sensational Oh Oh at the end of every chorus, which it's slight repetitive lines make for a definite Stuck-In-Head Forever song.
This song is a beauty, thou must watch it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnpG1Bl-DFQ
Credit : Sneaky Sound System
Song: Kansas City

Rating : 10 million stars

Also, I've just recently come to like Are You With Me by The Potbelleez, the guys who brought you the revamped version of Don't Hold Back, that summer sizzler :P
IT is a GOOD VID
The dancing is awesome, and the song is tres tres awesome too.
Listen to it!

On other news,
Tomorrow my results will come out and I will finallyfind outwhether this course is really the one for me. Talk about nailbiting, I swear, I am seriously stressing out, and am so so so so scared I'm going to lose my scholarship, or have to repeat a unit or an exam or something, it's just dreadful, I hate this sort of stress, really.

What else? Oh, well, my b'day's coming up soon! The big 1-8!
I am trying desperately to get my mum to let me go out, or at least have a dinner, but mummy dearest is much too scared that if i am let loose, I will be queen of all slagginess.
Someone, help me, give me some sort of Law thingie that will allow me to twist my mother's arm?
Not literally, of course! My mummy cooks too well, twisting her arm will destroy that completely. Plus, me love mummy! Me no want mummy be in pain.
Erm, what else?
Oh, well, I've been spending most of my holidays trying to get in shape ( gymming at Curtin, cheah ) and watching movies. I saw S"hort Circuit, I don't know how many of you have, but it is soooooooooooooooo cute! Number 5 is ALIVE. Neeeeeeeeddddddd moooooorrrrreeeeee inpppputttttttttt
It's such a cute movie, I'd advise you go out to your nearest Blockbuster or VideoEzy or Civic and rent out SC 1 and 2. Johnny Number 5!
:)
Another movie that I've taken quite a shine to is of course, Kenny. I haven't seen it before, but god, what a lovely movie! It's so raw and so funny and gives you such a perspective into those portaloo people who no one really knows about. It really is hilarious, and his language is HAHAHAHAHAHAH absolutely awesome. If I could write a book, it would have about 80% kenny in it , it's so funny.
You have to watch it , is all I have to say.
Erm, what other news is there?
Oh, yes, poetry.. My cousin told me I should write some poetry and rekindle my passion for that art, because lately I seem toonly have a passion for downloading music and watching reruns of Ladette to Lady.
So here goes:

Lie - Me

Kicking at the stones at the road,
I followed you all the way home,
I took my time and waited till you saw me coming,
Told you that you're the one,
The man I'm loving.

And then,
You turned your head,
Turned around and said,
"I'm so sorry
So- so- Sorry.
I never meant,
To hurt you, friend,
But this is not our story,
I can't be yours, see,
I am already taken."

I am lying,
Slowly dying,
Wishing I could be your one,
Wondering how you,
Knew what I would do,
And how you broke my heart.

I only wish,
I could tell you,
How much I have learnt to hate you,
I wish I could change your mind,
I wish I could turn back time.

I didn't see that light in your eyes,
When you held my hand,
Tried to make me understand

But I couldn't mistake your lies,
When you held her hand,
Tried to make her understand

I can see now, the truth,
How you lie, you fool,
I didn't think you were so cruel.

I can see now, the fire,
The fire in her eyes,
As she finds out that you were untrue.

I can see the lie, and she can too.
---------------------------------------
Ok that was random, and a piece of shit :) but that's what you get for writing in the space of a minute. Oh well.
Erm, i guess I was trying to aim for the image of this girl, who really has a big crush on thismystery guy/friend and he rejects her and says he's taken, like he's some sort of saintly person and doesn't usually cheat. then I meet the girl who calls herself his gf and then we both mutually realise that something is not right baout this guy, and we both end up discovering the truth about him.

Wala. Insightful isn't it? I don'tknow where I pull these ones out of .

NEXT!

brb!
xx Netty

Like a Rollercoaster Ride

2008-06-22T00:29:00.002+08:00

Hello hello hello ,
Yes, it is I , Netty Nut. It's that time of the year where I finally can blog without the guilt of potentially failing some major element of my education. Yes
It
Is
The
Holidays!!! Semester break = 6 weeks. I know, WTH?! Why have we been persecuted so long in high school with just a week here, a week there, a minute there, a millisecond in that little tiny corner between the teacher and the boy who smells like beef.
So, anyways, semester exams finished on Monday. This means I'm finished with 4 units! 4 ENTIRE UNITS. It's like, doing TEE for 4 subjects, but all in 6 months instead of 12. Give or take a few months, o'course. Tolerance = + or - 10%.
Yes, I included TOLERANCE. BITE ME I'm an engineer.
Well, at least, I hope I still am?!?! Those exams went.....hm..... yes.
Math and Electrical systems were fine, but Mechanics was quite honestly the most depressing exam I have written since Physics. Which brings me to another thought : I SUCKED AT PHYSICS BUT ENDED UP AS AN ENGINEER. Where's the karma kick there?

So, yes, there's one rant - Check!
My mind is so all over the place, blogging at midnight isn't conducive to any sense.
My dad's over here for 2 weeks, which basically means a BIG PAUSE BUTTON has been pressed on my social life, as I attempt to entertain my father in a desperate attempt to prove I really am a good daughter, and not just some bum he has reared whos slowly buggering away his hard-earned moolah and sleeping with everything that moves ( which i MOST EXPRESSLY DO NOT ).

So yes, been doing all sorts of things to that tune. Mostly sleeping in till late and then going for walks and getting some sun, as I need to grab as much Vitamin D as possible before the heavens open and rain comes pelting down like we're in the middle of a 9 month hurricane.
Yes, a 9 month hurricane. It's the baby of two monsoons who happen to be at the right place at the right time.
YEAH Mr. Monsoon + Ms. Monsoon = Hurricane.
God, my brain is sexy.
Anyways, what was I saying?
Oh yes, so I've been getting quite a bit of exercise and also recently have been doing a whole heap of fun things.
Went for half-price waffles on Tuesday at Gelare on Mends. Love it. Nothing quite like the taste of hot waffles, coated in quality maple syrup and delish whipped cream. It really is quite phenomenal, and at a stellar price.
I give this ----------**** stars.
Yes, I gave it 4 stars, problemo?

----------------------------------------------00000000000

Hmm, let me think, what else was I going to say?
Oh yes, I recently downloaded Coldplay's new album after falling in love with Violet Hill ( a song whose video clip quite truly does it no justice whatsoever ) and so Viva La Vida or Death and all his friends is now the new addition to my family of music. say hi chris martin! :)
The songs are good, they really are, but when you hear the entire album in one sitting, the songs kinda end up sounding the same. Individually, each track is its own charttopper, but in one amalgamated mix of music, it's sort of the same thing, the random BIG BAND chorus, the piano intervals, the beating of the drums, Chris Martin's signature voice. It's all terribly lovely, but terribly mundane. They've got a slightly more symphony-esque album this time around, and more echo-ism, and consistent beats throughout, unlike the earlier albums, which had this more acoustic tone . Out of 10, I'd give it.......erm.......8.34569349 X 10 ^ -1
Yeah, that exact.
The other albums are :
Paramore - Riot.
GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOD! Their song Crushcrushcrush is fantasmic. I really love it. It has this edgy vengeful feel to it, and everyone loves a good vengeance song.
Which brings me to the other album I've downloaded.
Two girls called Aly and Aj, those of you from Brunei who watched TRL religiously must know them, they sang " Chemicals React " - ( you tube it, its well worth the watch). So, they have another song called Potential Breakup .
OMG
I LOVE IT
The vid is fantastic, these girls are hot as, and the music is just fabulush. I downloaded their albums instantly, sooooooooo goood.
So much sass, spunk.
I'll link lyrics.
http://www.metrolyrics.com/scroller/scroller2.swf?lyricid=2147447035&border=2&bordert=0&bgfont=0xC0C0C0&bg=http://www.metrolyrics.com/scroller/bgs/AlyAndAJ.jpg&filter=0x000000&filtert=25&txt=0xFFFFFF&fontname=arial&fontsize=11&speed=1" quality="high" width="180" height="210" name="scroll" align="middle" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" />
http://www.metrolyrics.com/Aly-AJ-lyrics.html">Aly & AJ Lyrics
http://www.metrolyrics.com/">Potential Break-up Song Lyrics
sexalicious!
So yes, love their tracks.

Another band that I've discussed before is red, they are quite quite awesome, I must say.
Anyways a song I recently heard of theirs
http://www.metrolyrics.com/scroller/scroller2.swf?lyricid=2147433578&border=2&bordert=80&bgfont=0xC0C0C0&bg=http://www.metrolyrics.com/scroller/bgpic/bluedisco.jpg&filter=0x000000&filtert=25&txt=0xFFFFFF&fontname=arial&fontsize=11&speed=2" quality="high" width="180" height="210" name="scroll" align="middle" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" />
http://www.metrolyrics.com/red-lyrics.html">Red Lyrics
http://www.metrolyrics.com/">Already Over Lyrics
It is quite beautiful. Listen to the album. It is fab.

-------------------000000000000000000000000000000000

On another note, I'm trying desperately to lose weight as usual, to the extent that meals skipping is now a compulsory issue.
However, where I am failing is snacking. I keep snacking.
Someone, come up with a solution for snacking!

I AM SO BRAINDEAD I CANNOT BLOG
NIGHT
xx
.

This is The Last Goodnight I'm Ever Going To Say

2008-06-05T12:04:00.002+08:00

Heya all,
Ah, yes, it has been ages hasn't it since I last blogged? Yes, I know.... It's sad, but hey, at least I've roused myself from some deep dark pit that never existed but I created by sitting and doing nothing in one spot for long enough that the ooze and acid that leaked from my pores drained into the water table and.................
.........................Oh look, a pony!
Now, time for some real bullshit!
=)
I wish everyone wold keep me updated on what's going on with them by sending me , oh, I dont know, the occasional text? Maybe a message on my facebook wall, maybe a little pat on the back around uni, I really do want to catch up with everyone.
High school last year rocked, and I do miss it so so so so much ( I think my darling lesbian lover Aileen Bak agrees , we both miss Canning way way way too much to ever forget all the amazing memories there).
I miss Joy and May and walking down the halls all through free period, and sharing chips at lunch, and discussing boys, gossip, and complaining about Chem.
I miss Aileen and how we used to scribble to each other during the boring videos Roland used to put on during Human Bio ( zzzzzzzzzz)
I miss dropping into Vickery House to say Hi to Pawleeeeeeeeeeennnnnnn, and Li Ying, and Sapna, and Patience, and Yi Zhu, and Karen, and Anthony, and Mark, and ..........RAYMOND YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
hahahaha.... good times.
I remember Belle getting stalked by him, and the other Raymond :P Ray chan!
I remember Ray working at KFC and me trying to get the secret recipe from him, and all of us making fun of how he looked like a girl with the hair.
And I remember being given the tip that the water fountain in front of the rec centre has the best tasting water because the filter is cleaned out the least ( HAHAHAHAHHAAHAH e...........eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww)
I remember getting walked to the bus stop by Adam ( Gumby ) and him grumbling about having to take a 99 that's always full, and his extremely useful tip : Get on latest on the bus, especially if you have to get off the soonest , because that way you sit on the outer seat of a 2 seat thingo, and you can get off the bus easily) True Genius, that boy.
I remember getting picked on in Applicable by Anna and Cameron, ahahahahahhahahah
That was so much fun. And how I always used to go ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm and Cam and Anna would go ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I remember Anna bringing overnight Maccas leftovers to school, and all of us fighting over fillet-o-fish, and chicken mcnuggets. And me cringing at old McBarbecue sauce. And of course, sitting in Elacs class, and munching on choc chip cookies and cadbury's and toblerone bars from the vending machine, during all the nutty movies, like Gallipoli Run, and SuperSize Me ( which I have to confess, was a tres awesome movie ). And I remember Lebron with his crush on joy ( JOY CAN DENY IT BUT WE ALL KNOW THE TRUTH MWAHAHAHAHHAHA )
I remember how there were two mays, the taller one and the smaller one. And one was called May Teng and the other was STRANGELY AND FOR NO APPARENT REASON called September ( Credit once again goes to Aileen Bak.........Because, well, come on, she makes things insaner than they already are )
I remember calling Frankie a Giant Penguin ahhahahaha
and Calling chris a camel simply because we could.
I remember Orientation and making my friends for the rest of the year. I remember staying up late and having chats. I remember walking around Trinity College and thinking, WHOA big COLLEGE ( then we went next door to UWA and we were like.......rightttttttt so........that sucks). I remmeber all of us instantly wanting to get into UWA because of the whole prestige thing ( I look back on that now as a Curtin student and realise it was an entire piece of bullcrap. :P )
I remember sitting right at the back at orientation and taking pictures, and talking and gossiping ,and making plans for a field trip for Australia Day, to go watch the fireworks, and trying to pry joy away from her family. I remmeber my mom and sister dropping in everyday to see me because I didn't miss themn that much ; my mum was literally bawling to tears when I went haahah Aww, mummssiiiiiiieeeeee I love you long time.
I remember how we all went iceskating and had so much fun. Joy and I still don't know how to iceskate, well, ok, fine, I don't know how to iceskate, but I bet Joy is a pro by now ( *growls *) :P
I rmemeber Cameron helping us skate and I remmeber Greg and Adam trying desperately to lift this big black piece of fat off the ice ( psst, bbpof is me).
HAHAHAHAH I remmeber going with Anna and Cam, Adam, greg, to a pub later, and then we all went our seperate ways. I had good fun. I really did.
Though, I have to confess, the 50 bruises and aches and pains I felt weren't really all that great.
I remember going to Carousel for little shopping trips and people splurging and buying things.
God........... I could go on forever. But I can't. I'll be back in a bit! MWAHS
xx Netty

The Thing I Happen To Love For Some Reason

2008-04-02T23:17:00.006+08:00

Ah,

Yes.....

Yes, it's true.

I'm BACK BABEH! Driven by a random need to distract myself from my studies ( which isn't altogether that impossible) I decided, ah, what the hell, might as well indulge in something that is as far away from engineering as possible. Blooogggggginnnnnnnngggggggg. It makes me feel like I'm doing a service to the community by having a piece of cyber-real-estate and actually making albeitly feeble ) attempt at trying to improve the property value.

And now, for something completely different.

Hello all, how's it doing, as my classmate Brendon says. I find that statement somewhat repulsive. How's it doing? I'm not an it. Nor is anyone I know an it.

Unless you count that spineless turd , the guy who screamed at me for about half an hour at work about how some random ran over his phone and he didn't have insurance but it was magically all my fault, simply because I was the sales representative.

Ah, the stories I could tell.

Lets see, first, what has happened to me since my last blog post. I do not know, because I haven't yet checked to see when my last post was. Ten bucks its some unfinished rant. * ctrl t's a new tab on the window and brings up random colours on screen with little scrawl going across*

Ah, right, the chrissie wish list.

Omg, it has been a while.

It will please you to know i got nothing that i wanted on my christmas list, but instead got things i liked that i happened to lack the imagination to include.

most presents were provided by Sir Hargreaves, the ever-present source of compassion, caring, and soul, not to mention absolute idiocy and cuteness all wrapped up in one random grass-munching puffball = My Boyfriend Timothy.

Now, let's see. What has happeneed since then?

Well, for one thing, I got a job.

Yes, I

Got

Job.

Don't act too bloody shocked that someone would want to hire me, you piece of monkey poo! ( note : all those who aren't shocked and are happy for me , disregard the monkey poo bit. think more...piece of pie? NICE PIE. Not dodgy australian pie. Note to self : have rant about aussie pie further in blog ) I got a job in a phone chain store thingy called Living Digital. Some of you may have phones from there, considering that 80% of the international student population inevitably ends up getting drawn in by the insanity of getting 150 bucks worth of credit for just 30 bucks ( btw, before you come to me asking why it's just 120, RTFM. )

[ RTFM : Read The F*ing Manual ]

So, where was I? Ah, yes, ( thank god for blogger's scroll up and down feature, otherwise I'd probably be discussing space monkeys or some crap like that by now, and here's the amazing thing, it's only the 5th paragraph. WOO HOO AREN'T WE EXCITED TO KNOW I WRITE NOVELS?) . So, anyways, I work in Living Digital, we sell phones, etc. It's not too bad. I'm not that fabolous a salesperson, and yet I seem to do pretty well. I think it's because people are scared of me ? I am very loud, overbearing sort of person, ya know. Agreements, I hear.

Well, anyhow, i made a fair packet from that job, which is going to tide me well over this year, hopefully. It's going to be a pain doing tax returns hahaha.

Gosh, some of the people you meet at this job.

There's this one guy who comes into the Victoria Park store that I used to work in , and he either comes in shirtless with just shorts, and he's all sweaty and stinky and hairy and just a REALLY MASSIVE TUMOUR FOR THE SORE EYES, or he comes in with this cowboy hat and his motorola phone ( the 10th he's bought because he thought ( in his own words ) " it's a f*ing piece of f***. I'm being f*ed over by f*ing Optus who are f*ing f*ers. ). So yes, man who comes in. He's majorly aggressive, absolute bastard on two feet, starts ranting randomly about any shit.

Also, did I mention he has about 1000 $ of Porn on his phone.

PORN MY FRIENDS.

And he'll come in store and discuss it.

WTH

WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW GEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ

But yes, that's just one of the many colourful characters I've had the opportunity to come across with.

The usual clientele isn't too shabby. A bit of a talk this way and that, and they buy something on contract, though the outrights are the satisfying sells. And then you get the ABSOLUTE DICKHEADS 5 minutes before you're closing or 30 minutes before you're due to open, and they come in, kick up a fuss, and leave you in such a horrible mood for the rest of the day, that it doesn't matter if you sold a million phones per millisecond, you'd still feel like you did jack.

( Tim, I do not know a jack. I have not , as a result, done him )

Ah, well, que sera sera. Or something like that.

So anywho.

What has happened to me uni wise ? Well, I got a TER of 99.8 which is one of the highest TERs in Western Australia, so pretty stoked about that.

However, the funniest thing. I didn't receive any first round offers AT ALL. Like NO UNI WANTED ME . Wanna know why?

BECAUSE MY SURNAME IS A FULLSTOP. So this whole entire bunch of computers thinks, oh, wait, fullstops for surnames? That must be a fake name. NEXT.

So, get this, the deans of all the unis realise how badly they've screwed me over, and I get calls from them apologising profusely, and finally I get a full scholarship into Chemical Engineering ( double degree with Extractive Metallurgy) at Curtin Uni.

OH HOLY COW. I am in deep water here.

A person who has done bio all her life, and written ten page english essays suddenly has to figure out Thevenin's Equivalent. Google it, it's a piece of shit.

So, yes.

I am so out of my league, it's scary. And I need to maintain an 80% average to keep my scholarship . GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

I swear, I will eventually cave and swim in an ocean of craziness.

Amen.

What else has happened? Erm... let's see

Oh, yes, my parents finally found out about Tim. How you ask?

Good story this one. Widen thine eyes and open thine ears at appropriate moments. Cry, sob, sniffle, or just chortle.

It all starts with me, getting ready for training for my work at 6 a.m. I usually turn off my phone so that if and when my mum turns it on, she can't access the phone because of the sim password i put on it ( *nudge nudge wink wink *). However, on this particular occasion, I leave my phone on the dressing table, in plain sight, on. With about 53 saved messages from my bf in the inbox and it's all of him saying how much he misses me and loves me and the usual romantic stuff . I was saving all these ( because I usually delete them in the event of my phone getting into nosy hands ( A HAND WITH A NOSE ) ) because my bf was in Queensland for about 2 months and I missed him a tad, and so had these to remind me of his everlasting lunacy for me.

I come out of shower.

Mum sitting at dining table.

Mum staring at me as I drink tea in front of heater.

Mum : Net, what are those messages from Tim?

Net : What? EH?

Mum : Are you in love with him?

Net : Errrrrrrrrr No..............*shifty eyes* of course not!

Mum : Break up with him now.

Net : Gaaah, I need to go for work, I'll come back and talk.

My dad is sitting at the couch with this really pissed off disappointed look on his face as i walk out.

Uh Oh.

So, I go for work, and drop the news to Tim. Who's like. Shit.

And then I get back. BIG FAMILY MEETING. Mum and dad totally go off at me for doing this and saying how I've changed and become a girl with no morals and now I can't date till I get out of uni, and how is this going to make my sister look, if her younger sister is a little slut ( yes, slut ).

I started crying and I seriously thought that Tim and I were to be broken up.

However, Tim and I , it will pleease you to know, are now continuing an espionage relationship, under closed covers. It is sad, but true. :S

Hmm, so yes, that happened.

Also, I discovered that Marcus and Brendan had a bet going on who would swipe my virginity first. HAHAA GAYs didn't get the chance. Bunch of dweebs. They did the worst thing that I'm not even going to discuss. anyways..........

Erm, oh, yes...........

I'm trying to think of things to say but I run out now.

Oh, I'll get back to you lovelies.

NIGHTIES AND PANTIES

xx Nutty Netty

MWAHZ

2007-12-16T19:58:00.000+09:00

BACKSTREET BOYS LYRICS
Inconsolable

I close the door
Like so many times, so many times before
Filmed like a scene on the cutting room floor
I wanna let you walk away tonight without a word
I try to sleep, yeah
But the clock is stuck on thoughts of you and me
A thousand more regrets unraveling
OOoh, if you were here right now,
I swear I'd tell you this

[Chorus:]
Baby I don't wanna waste another day
Keepin it inside, it's killing me
Cause all I ever wanted comes right down to you (to you)
I wish that I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you, every time you leave I'm inconsolable

I climb the walls, yeah
I can see the edge,
But I can't take the fall, no
I've memorized the number
So why can't I make the call
Maybe cause I know you'll always be with me
In the possibility

[Chorus]

No, no, no
I don't wanna be like this
I just wanna let you know
That everything I hold in
Is everything I can't let go (oooh, can't let go)
Cause BABAYYYYY

[Chorus]
Don't you know it baby
I don't wanna waste another day
I wish that I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you, every time you leave
I'm inconsolable
Yeah, yeah, yeah Oooh, I'm inconsolable
Whoaa yeah
I'm inconsolable

LOVE THAT SONG ^_^
That's all I wanted to post.
Listen to the new backstreet album lovelies ( UNBREAKABLE ) it's out now!
IT IS AWESOME !
Oh, and btw
Got my CPS results
89.2 = 99.75 TER
WOOT ^_^
BYEZ

Wii Obsession

2007-12-07T22:42:00.000+09:00

Ok, so, I'm obsessseeeeedddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd With getting a Wii
Someone, bid for me, and get me this
GET ME THIShttp://cgi.ebay.com.au/HOT-WII-CONSOLE-2-REMOTOE-2-Nunchuck-24-GAMES_W0QQitemZ180190702816QQihZ008QQcategoryZ147872QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
Please? BID BID BID BID BID BID

All I Want For Christmas

2007-12-07T20:39:00.000+09:00

Hey all,
It's that time of year where presentsare given and taken, things are sold and bought, things are refunded and refunded and refunded and REFUNDED. And in an effort to get the best pressie for your friend, so that the plastic smile on their face of gratitude and happiness is somewhat more genuine than last year when you got them bright green socks ten sizes too small, I have compiled a list of things I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS. Some of the things you might agree on:
1. Make up kit.
I seriously seriously want a MAKE UP KIT. A cute one with eyeshadow, blush, mascara...the works.
2. Clothes
I want more party tops, clubbing tops, etc, because it is after all party season
3. BAGS BAGS BAGS
I want a cute cute bag, preferably one that looks a bit like....erm.... GOOGLY! *image attachments warning ^_^ *
http://www.bagsbuy.com/vianova-10400/216615/471230
http://www.bagsbuy.com/yak-pak-fuji/192475/429351
http://www.bagsbuy.com/mad-bags-3604/200290/443681
http://www.bagsbuy.com/mad-bags-3602/200249/443612
http://www.bagsbuy.com/vianova-10405/216621/471246 LOVE THIS ONE
http://cgi.ebay.com.au/LADIES-WOMEN-ELEGANT-BLACK-HANDBAG-TOTE-SHOULDER-BAG_W0QQitemZ330194547846QQihZ014QQcategoryZ63852QQtcZphotoQQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
http://cgi.ebay.com.au/Women-Lady-Evening-Wedding-Clucth-Crystal-Bag-Handbag_W0QQitemZ360002695709QQihZ023QQcategoryZ63852QQtcZphotoQQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS ONE
5. I also want an iPod, a Wii...even if you buy half of a Wii as a gift, I'll pay the other half and we can share, I don't care! I WANT A WII!!!! ^_^
6. I want Perfumes, perfumes, perfumes, perfumes, perfumes, perfumes
7. Jewellery, jewellery
8. Chocolates are welcome, but honestly, not that long lasting.

I WANT CARDS! Pwwweeeaaaaaaasssssssseeeeeee?
I want lip gloss, lip liner, mascara, etc, etc
GET ME MAKEUP
Pwease?
Ok, i'm done for this rant, ttyl! ^_^
xx
Started work, stressed out, usual usual. Love my life, love my boy, tim, who I drag along everywhere and force to stay like 8 hours waiting for his gf to come out from training and i treat him like shit and yer... glad he's going to queensland so he doesn't have to deal with my crap anymore , poor guy. *loves Tim*
Anyways YAY WEEKEND !
xx
Netty

So =P

2007-11-28T20:24:00.000+09:00

Right, so, hmm, ah... eh... ooh, errr, hmm...haaa, hoooo, heooooooooorittuyrituiwjrfijweifjsifjsid
fhwauhfusicfjwjfeiwjfie
gergiejrfiejrfiej
igijgritjbvjrtnv
.................
OMG YOU FREAK! WHY ARE YOU STILL PAYING ATTENTION TO THIS BLOG POST?!
Lmao
Anyways, where was I?
Ah, oh yes, I've been frantically searching for a job ( with no help from anyone, *coughs* ye know who ye are ) and I finally got a really sweet deal.
It's at Living Digital in the City ( Barrack STreet ) mainly selling phones or doing prepaid thingies. Optus and all that. Might be able to score you discounts, *nudge nudge wink wink* so keep tuned.
So, anyways, yeah, excited about that.
Also, I'm through with my old gang of friends.
You know, Marcus, Jay, Steven, Filly, Joanie, the whole lot.
They are just way way way too crude for me now.
I've realised I've just been surrounding myself with shallow people, and tha's made me shallow, it's made me a person who judges a book by its cover, and it's made me this stone cold hard cruel judgemental bitch/whore/skank who's only goal in life is to destroy other people.
And i've had enough of being happy with myself treating people like crap and allowing my friends to treat other people like crap.
So this is it.
This is the OFFICIAL SEVERANCE OF TIES WITH MY OLD GANG. They know who they are.
I'm not going to discuss what happened because I don't think anyone needs to know. The people who need to know what happened know what happened.
I'm disgusted with them.
I'm disgusted with myself.
End of story.
We move on, we change, we repair, we get rid of parts that made us unwholesome and we absorb parts that make us better.
That said, let me talk about someone who I love talking about, at least, in my head, to me, looking through all the qualities and looking through all the things that he does for me, all the things I do for him, and weighing things out.
That someone sometime next week is going to be starting to pack for his trip back home to Brisbane, and I realised there's this deep pit of sadness in my stomach that's scared that somehow, something's going to convince him that Brisbane is home after all, and that though WA may have its attractions, Brisbane is where he wants to stay.

I think I may cry when he leaves, just to know that now, there's no part of him that's physically in WA. There'll be no man into whose arms I will run into when I'm hurting really badly or when I'm cold and I just need a warm hug. When I have to go somewhere far away or go somewhere I haven't been before... he won't be there for me to drag along. When I need to do something till late in the night, he won't be there to stick around and walk home with me.
I love how I'll be in the foulest mood and he'll crack the STUPIDEST joke in the history of mankind, and I mean really really random and corny, and somehow, for no reason, that silly smile on his face, that eager puppy-dog excitedness, the willingness to please, it's almost like he has an invisible tail and it's wagging happily, trying to make me happy. All that, makes me smile . Just because. Just thinking about him sets me off feeling all these feelings that I know have to mean love. They can't possibly mean anything else.
I'm going to miss him so much. There's a part of me that feels like there's going to be this hole left behind in me, it's scaring me. Because it feels like I don't know how i'll make it without him. Who am I going to have with me when I have to take a train to some wierd place, and I can't remember the directions?
And what happens if I want to go to timezone and get candy, but I have no powerzone card or handy dandy money?
Then what?
I'm scared, I have to confess. I can't really tell him all this, but everytime he kisses me, there's a thought in the back of my head thinking, " Is this the last one? "
There's a bit wondering, this hug, is this the last one I'm going to get from him before he goes, my last reassurance that life is ok.
I know it's silly, and a little overreactive, but really, I'm going to miss him terribly. And I don't really want him to know because he may get scared by it, at the same time, I want him to know i'm going to be at my wit's end in sadness because he's not there to give me a cuddle or to call me up and just talk and because I'm starting work and everything and he can't be there for me 24/7 and we both have our own lives and i can't expect him to destroy his just so he can be a part of mine and....
Oh god, can you see how insane this is all becoming for me yet?
And there's another part of me that wants him to stay in brisbane.
His entire family is there.
His mom, sisters, his dad is next door in new south wales, his nephews who he loves talking about =) it's so cute. I think he'll make an awesome dad, i really think he would. He just seems to me just nutty enough to not be a boring bookie dad who'll make sure the kids get sun, fun and still get their homework done. And he's just serious enough to make sure things don't get out of hand, and that everything stays in control. I'm jealous of the woman who marries him, because she's getting the ultimate dad package for her kids. ^_^
Anyways.
He's got everything going for him in Brisbane. He can easily get into a uni there, and everything that he knows is there. His house, his road rules, his people, everything. All the love that he needs he can get from the beautiful people that I've seen in those pictures I was looking at today on his computer in the morning. He just looks so happy with them.
And it worries me that he may not be as happy here away from them.
And he's said it often enough that he wishes he could be there for his sister.
So here's my dilemma. Should I tell him that he should stay in Brisbane? Should I give him the freedom to leave me for good, leave me alone, lacking his touch, for as long as I can bear till I fly out to brisbane just to see that stupid grin of his when he cracks a lame joke.
Oh, gosh, it's hard to type when you cry. But I need to cry. It's been building up inside me. I don't want to lose him. Is it wrong to be selfish, to want something so bad that you're not willing to share?
Isn't sharing caring?
Iwant him to have his family, but I want him to have me too.
And I don't want to make him choose. I really don't
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh
Head go explodey haha.
Life and drama, really.

Lemme write a poem, that'll help

I want him over here,
I want him over there,
I keep seeing him around,
I see him everywhere

And it's tearing me apart,
How badly I want him,
And it's breaking my heart,
How easily I could lose him.

There's a bit of me that's crying out stop,
There's a bit of me crying out let go,
If only I could turn back the clock,
I'd let myself be the one pleasure he wouldn't have to know.

If only I could tell him how much it'll hurt to see him walk away,
And how much it'll hurt to hear him tell me those awful words,
That he can't stay,
I don't think I'll be able to bear the hurt,

.............. I can't write anymore, I've been tired out by my emoness lol.
Brb, drink.
xx

Bump Bump Bump

2007-11-23T22:32:00.000+09:00

UpperCut » Artists R » Red » Lost
Can I be dreaming once again?
I'm reaching helpless I descend
You're leading deeper through this maze
I'm not afraid
I'm lost in you everywhere I run
Everywhere I turn I'm finding something new
I'm lost in you something I can't fight
I cannot escape
I can spend my life lost in you! Lost in you!
Your whispers fill these empty halls
I'm searching for you as you call
I'm bracing, chasing after you
I need you more
I'm lost in you everywhere I run
Everywhere I turn I'm finding something new
I'm lost in you something I can't fight
I cannot escape
I can spend my life lost in you!
I could never be the same here
Something that I could never arise
I could never look away
I lost myself in you!
It's all over now!
Lost in you! Everywhere I run
Lost in you! Everywhere I run!
Lost in you!
Lost in you!

Why, hello all! ^_^
Been listening to that song, by Red for a while now.. .It's pretty sweet and rocky.
Listen to it.
I would rate Red as a definite recommend.
Here are some other bands I definitely recommend, and other albums that just rate pretty high as PERFECT BUYS for this year. And most people trust me with their music so....

Red- Ends Of Silence
Three Days Grace - One X
Three Days Grace - Three Days Grace
30 Seconds to Mars - Both the albums
Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Stadium Arcadium
Panic At The Disco - they've only released one album but i for the life of me cannot remember what it was called :S
Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSounds
Christina Aguilera - Back To Basics
Fergie -Duchess
I wouldn't recommend downloading akcent because other than Kylie there is no other song that comes close
Erm...
Bosson - Any album of his is loverly. Hes the guy who sang " One in A Million " . Some of you may remember it from " Miss Congeniality" the scene where they parade. You know the song ^_^ You're one in a million, you're once in a lifetime, you're breaking the stars just to shine.
It's a pretty song! Love it
Oh,
t.A.t.U- 200 km/h in the wrong way (check name?)
Keane - The Iron Sea
Monty Python's Another Rip Off
as well as the Holy Grail Soundtrack. Valuable buys
Oh, and what else?
Oh, there's just so much music.
Buy Avril , any album
For that matter, Jewel's albums, very insightful singer for someone her age. Rather on the avant garde side, but her music is rather inspirational at points.
Personal favourite is nameless, at the moment
Let's see..
Oh, some of my favourite songs at the moment, too, I'd just like to share
Obviously, I'm on a Red addiction recently.
Plus, I like Misery Business by Paramore.
V good song, that
Oh and this other one, *searches* ah, When The Saints Go Marching - U2,
and also blah...tomorrow
Today... my bf made me lunchies and we sat in and watched movies
Nice, hot summer's day
Life is good
Love you all
xx Netty

Breathe Into Me

2007-11-22T21:13:00.000+09:00

So, la la la
I kinda went off on my boyfriend on my blog which i feel really really really awful of me *cries*
I can't believe I'm that self-centred that when I have a bad moment I actually take it out on the one thing that I love more than anyone else in this world.
I'm sorry, Tim, for all that I said in my " deleted " post, and no, there's NOTHING between me and Joshua F. Bunfken. I need to make this clear.
So, with that said....
I LOVE TIMMY! ^_^
xx Netty
Now for some blogthings

Your Family Is 42% Dysfunctional

Your family definitely has some problems, but probably nothing that can't be overcome.You don't have the greatest past with your family, and bad feelings may arise when everyone's together.It may take some individual or group therapy to work everything out. And that means your family has to admit there's a problem.If your family isn't ready to change, you may need to give them some distance for a while.

http://www.blogthings.com/isyourfamilydysfunctionalquiz/">Is Your Family Dysfunctional?

You Can Make 75% of Your Crushes Fall in Love With You

Your seduction skills are practically legendary. You know how to close the deal.Just don't let someone you're really into get the better of you!As long as you keep up your end of the flirting game, you'll get the prize at the end.

http://www.blogthings.com/canyoumakeanyonefallinlovewithyouquiz/">Can You Make Anyone Fall in Love With You?

And lol, this one

He's Over Her!

Don't worry about a thing - your guy is totally over his ex.He's moved on, found someone better, and he's never looking back!

http://www.blogthings.com/isheoverhisexquiz/">Is He Over His Ex?

Hahahah, happy Timothy?! ^_^

You Should Wear A Black Bikini

You're too sophisticated to be a typical beach bunny...But you may need a bikini to wear to a swanky pool party!

http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorbikinishouldyouwearquiz/">What Color Bikini Should You Wear?

It's 80% Love and 20% Lust

You and your guy are truly in love, even if that spark seems to be a little dimmer.

http://www.blogthings.com/areyourfeelingsforhimlustorlovequiz/">Are Your Feelings For Him Lust or Love?

You Are More Mild Than Wild

You're confident, and you really aren't concerned with how "hot" you are.Other people's ideas of what's sexy don't concern you. And this is exactly what makes you attractive.

http://www.blogthings.com/areyouhotquiz/">Are You Hot?

Your Love Is Represented By a Pink Rose

You see love as something that should be light, fun, and whimsical. People fall in love with you easily. And you tend to fall out of love easily!You express your love through attention and shared experiences. You love people more than they realize.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatroserepresentsyourlovequiz/">What Rose Represents Your Love?

Guys Think You're Easy to Be With... But Not Easy

You're definitely a flirt - and a good one.But you also know that you shouldn't make a move on any cute guy who passes by.You save your seductive moves for someone who already knows the real you.That way, your sex appeal is just part of the whole package.

http://www.blogthings.com/areyouaneasygirlquiz/">Are You An Easy Girl?

Your Reputation Is: Sweet Girl

While you're well known, there's nothing to worry about.You're reputation is mostly good - as good as any rep can be.

http://www.blogthings.com/doyouhaveabadgirlreputationquiz/">Do You Have A Bad Girl Reputation?

Your Inner Eye Color Is Blue

You've got the personality of a blue eyed womenYou're intense and expressive - and always on the goYou've also got a sweet, playful side - which draws men in

http://www.blogthings.com/whatcoloreyedwomanareyoureallyquiz/">What Color Eyed Woman Are You Really?

You Mostly Have Your Emotions in Check

Sometimes your emotions get out of control, but you usually are a pretty stable person.You can find a lot to be happy about, as long as things are going your way.But if a few bad things happen to you, you tend to go in a bit of a downward spiral.Luckily, you usually come out of it okay and no worse for the wear.

http://www.blogthings.com/canyoukeepyouremotionsincheckquiz/">Can You Keep Your Emotions in Check?

That last one has me down pat, i reckon.
So, any comments? Agree, disagree, etc.

Right, erm, heroes is going to begin in a bit.
I shall return later and blog some more
Love you all heaps
Love you tim.
xx Netty

You Burn Me

2007-11-20T15:03:00.000+09:00

I just felt inspired to write poetry, I get this way when I have headaches.
I have been watching movie after movie continously for the last two days, it is starting to affect my mental health methinks.
Now, poetry :

Lost in You - Me

I don't understand anymore,
If this pain that I feel,
Is my heart behind a locked door,
And you threw away the key.

It sort of feels like I've been here before,
Like these tears are coming back to haunt me,
And I don't think I want to feel sore,
But sorrow's a probability.

And there's no piece of me left that you haven't shattered,
There's no love that you haven't sucked me dry of,
I've fallen at your feet, so many times, I'm battered,
And this emotion you've left me with, this undying love,
Is tearing me, into a million pieces of who,
I used to be,
And you've got me saying, I'm so sorry,
I'm just lost , so lost, in you.

You could call me names,
You could hit me across the face,
But somehow I come back to you, the treatment's always the same,
But in your arms, I find a better place.

I feel like I've been ripped in two,
I feel like nothing makes sense,
Like I'm just a part of who's standing in front of you,
And I can't say I love you in the past tense

No one understands, that who I am was who you made me out to be,
And now I'm too far gone, too far gone this cold, winding road to see,
That everything, everything I thought I was,
Was what I wanted to be for you,
And somehow, because,
I let myself get too lost in you.

I'm a broken soul,
Nothing of me is normal,
I will never again be whole,
I'll just hope to be free from your torment,
Because all I am,
All I wanted to be,
Was what you said,
What you said you thought you saw in me,
But I don't know,
I don't know what it is you thought you'd seen

Because I've tried so hard,
To be who you thought I should,
I've tried it all,
I did all that I could,

And just when I thought I'd lost everything I had before,
You said you were coming back ,
And now I see you there, walking back through my door,
You're like a sharp heart attack

sorry,
I said it's over,
You said forgive me,
I said I'm not sober,
You said you loved me,
Said you needed me,
What am I supposed to do,
Am i supposed to take you back just because I've lost myself in you?

----------00-000000000-0000000-000000000000-000000000000-000000000-00----

Another one i should think, before I hop in for a shower , ^_^

There's a soft little sound,
While I'm lying on your bed,
I'm trying to get my feet on the ground,
And trying to get you out of my head,

And you come back from your shower,
And stare at me naked on your sheets,
And you tell me to get up and go,
And our eyes meet.

Baby, how does it feel,
Knowing you can't control me,
How does it feel,
Knowing that you need me.
Oh why can't those glaring eyes see ,
That everytime you try to force me,
I tell you go screw yourself, go screw yourself, my baby.

So I'm telling all these voices,
That I should be letting go,
Of something that's hurting me inside,
Yes, I know,
That girl I saw you with last week,
She wasn't just a friend,
She and I, we got a chance to speak,
And all your dirty little secrets she did tell.

Was it not good enough for you,
All the nasty things I let you try,
All the places I let you take me to,
And for all the things you got off on that made me cry?

Time waits for no man,
So I'm going to have to speed things up,
Kill you the best way I can,
Because you're messing me up, messing up our love,

I saw you with her,
Her pretty little blonde head,
I hope you remember,
How she looked lying sprawled on your bed,
And I hope you said to her,
How much you loved her beautiful body
Because I've just done something,
Done something that amazes me,

I've made you regret,
I'm forcing you to respect,
I want you to forget,
That slut who put her hands down your pants, yes
And if you know me well enough,
You'll know I never give up,
Your luck has just run out, oh, isn't it tough?
I murdered your beautiful girlfriend.

xxooooooooooooxxxxxxxxxxxooooooooooooxxxxxxxxxxxooooooooooo
Ok, that one was a bit hmmmmm....
Lol, it was inspired by this movie, where this guy and girl like each other, and then purposely to screw with her feelings the guy cheats on her, with this hot chick, and the girl kills the chick.
MUCHO PSYCHO ^_^
Anyways, shower. Mwahz, love you all.
xx
Netty

A Broken Mess

2007-11-17T20:24:00.000+09:00

So my topic of discussion today is : well, my favourite topic of discussion,

Love.

Does it really exist? Or is it just hormones?

Well, as you know, I'm listening and relistening and relistening to Pieces by Red.

It is beautiful, a beautiful song.

So, anyways, erm, found this little article on the internet, and thought I might just read it through,

How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust
While there's no clear, fool-proof way to decipher your feelings for someone, there are certain ways to make the distinction between love, lust and infatuation clearer for yourself.

Steps

Could it be love?

>>>Write down everything that you associate with the person you're feeling strongly about. Example words on your brainstorm list could include love, butterflies, sex, holding hands, annoying snoring, gorgeous, etc.

>>> Circle each attribute with a different color such as red for lust, yellow for infatuation, and green for love.

>>>See which of the three feelings dominates the page. If one doesn't stand out (like if the distribution seems pretty equal), move on to the following steps for more insight.

Or is it lust?

>>>Read literature on the topic. Questions about love are timeless questions that have consumed mankind throughout the ages and are a major theme in many scriptures, tales from mythology, and literature. Read the story of David and Bathsheba from the Old Testament, 1st Corinthians from the New Testament, the story of Ali and Fatima, Echo and Narcissus, or Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.
>>>Ask your friends or, if you find it easier, ask a complete and utter stranger, so that you get an honest opinion and an outsider's point of view. Tell that person how you feel, and ask them if it sounds primarily like love, infatuation, or lust.
>>>Watch a movie that relates to your situation like "Cruel Intentions" (which is about lust, and wanting what you can't have), "Down to You" (which is about love and leaving it all down to the other person), "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" (which is about none of them really but it's about making a mistake and putting it right), "The Notebook," which tells a tale of life-long love and commitment, "The Phantom of the Opera" (which is about both lust and infatuation) and definitely, "Titanic" (which is about holding on to someone forever until you die - that is love - bittersweet love), also, perhaps, "The Fly" (which is about a woman who falls in love with a man who turns into a fly and then goes insane, and yet remains deeply emotionally attached through this agonizing life change - which is love) or High Fidelity (which is about learning what love really is). Yet understand, that movies are fiction that depict idealized rather than realistic love.

Tips
>>>Keep in mind that in most relationships, you're feeling all three (love, infatuation, and lust) all at once, to some degree.
>>>To help you make tough decisions about your relationship, ask someone you trust who has lots of experience with the kind of relationship you want for yourself. For example: Say you want to be happily married to one person for life. If your parents have both been bitterly divorced three times, then they are probably not the ones to talk to. On the other hand, if they are about to celebrate their 50th anniversary of bliss together, then they may be ideal to learn from.
>>>Lasting relationships are those that are built on love - not infatuation or lust. Imagine the person you love in 50 years when they are old and fat. Would that change how you feel about them? If yes, then what you feel now is most likely lust/infatuation - not love.
>>>Friendship should also weigh into your decision to commit. In 50 years, if you don't genuinely LIKE your mate, you're going to be miserable.
>>>Remember that jealousy is not a result of love. It is more likely to be a result of infatuation, insecurity or fear of being alone. Are you in love with being in relationships?
>>>A major life-changing decision like moving in together, getting engaged or getting married should be a natural step if you love someone. It should not inspire fear.
>>>Take advantage of the post coital "moment of clarity" to examine your feelings. This is not usually the moment directly after orgasm (where most people are happy with the universe), but 5 or 10 minutes later, when your breathing and heart rate are normal. At this point, does the sex still make you feel closer to that person? Or are you beginning to feel regret and anxiety about what happened? If the latter, then it's most definitely not love but lust.
>>>Give it time. Love takes root slowly and grows with time. Infatuation grows into full bloom almost immediately.
>>>Keep in mind that "True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be and will not be." (Unknown)
>>>What comes to mind when you think about this person. If you are not dating the person, think if you are eager to spend time with them or you just want to watch them from a distance. If you are in a relationship with the person, What do you want most out of the relationship. If you just want to consummate love to the person it is usually lust. True love is when you could love a person without ever "dropping your drawers" so to speak.

Warnings
>>>If you're not sure about your feelings or your relationship, take things slowly. Spend time apart and see how you are feeling while you are away. Do you miss the person? Or are you more attracted to others when you are apart?
>>>You may also want to consider the fact that it's not always as easy as being one of these three things; often there are a lot of grey areas, the distinctions are blurred, and it is very possible to feel two or even all of these feelings for a person.

........ THAT SAID

People, tell me your thoughts, what do you think makes love love? I want comments, discussions, disagreements, I want spice, flavour, I don't want one person's opinion, I want the opinions of people that matter to me. Tell me on msn or comm here. I don't care.

Just SHARE.

^_^

Now, for my next bit.... Erm, let's see

.... Ah, what have I been getting upto lately?

Well, let's see...

Ah, right... Well, exams finished yesterday. Same for most of you, Physics WAUFP.

OMg

I cannot believe it.

Does anyone realise the gravity of this situation?

And entire 13 or 14 years of education

FINALLY CULMINATED INTO THIS ONE SPLIT MOMENT OF " please put your pens down, the test is finish"

I'm not so sure it's sunk in quite yet.

It's sort of anticlimatic, to be frank.

I mean, I've been anticipating this moment for well over all my life.

The moment that I get to burn my applicable maths notebook, the moment I get to chuck my Physics text into the bin, the second I get to recycle my Human Bio notes.

All that.

It's just.... sort of happened without me noticing exactly what has.

And it's got me thinking , about all the things in life that I've worried about over the years, all the crazy things we worried abotu in school, the little drama, the big drama, all just little grains of sand in the big big beach that is our past.

It's like, the last 13 years have ben nothing.

That's what I'm going through right now. I kind of feel like it was only yesterday I was doing my semester 1 exam. I remember it so sharply. I can't believe what's changed since then. Relationships have been made and broken.

People have been lost and found.

Love has been had and broken.

Exams have been written, marked, checked, rechecked, debated, complained about, received, returned.

Tears have been shed, jokes have been cracked, people have been teased.

We've all been really happy this year, and we've all been really sad.

We've been healed and we've been hurt.

We've gained so much and we've lost so much along the way.

But in the end, we've all come out of it, knowing that tomorrow's going to hopefully be a better day.

I think that's what keeps us going.

That little twinge of hope that tomorrow is going to be better. And even if it doesn't turn out to be that great, there's still the offchance that it'll improve if you give it another chance.

It's the lottery of life in a way, i reckon. It's sort of like, those scratchies that Tim buys, personally.

You buy a 1 dollar one and you scratch it , praying hard that you'll get some money out of it, and if you're lucky oyu might get 10000 or you might just get two bucks or nothing at all. if you get two bucks, you kind of think, oh, hey, that wasn't a COMPLETE waste of energy, and then you go and buy another scratchie with that money, and try again, and then you win a bit more again and then you try again thinkin, ah, this is a trend, the more scratchies i end up buying today i'll eventually win, and then you scratch this little bingo one in your hand and you lose like, 5 bucks . You only paid 5 bucks, but still. Just because you haven't lsot any money overall, it's still a downer having to have no won any money. But, you may win again some day.

So you buy another scratchie, and the cycle restarts.

We all win, we all lose.

But no one loses all the time.

And no one wins all the time.

Keeping that in mind, I shall halt my philosophy lecture to catch up on some snooze time, because Tim is tiring me out.

Love you all!

xx Netty

Why Does The Whole World Remind Me Of YOu

2007-11-16T09:44:00.000+09:00

So, I've been listening to Thirsty Merc's song, Whole World Reminds Me Of You.
I am truly in love with this song hahaha, it's just so beautiful and so touching and its got a casual beat and it's nice too, and it's meaning is pretty.

Oh and this other song.... Pieces - Red

Listen to these two songs, especially pieces

"Pieces"

I'm here again

A thousand miles away from you

A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am

I tried so hard

Thought I could do this on my own

I've lost so much along the way

Then I'll see your face

I know I'm finally yours

I find everything I thought I lost before

You call my name

I come to you in pieces

So you can make me whole

I've come undone

But you make sense of who I am

Like puzzle pieces in your eye

Then I'll see your face

I know I'm finally yours

I find everything I thought I lost before

You call my name

I come to you in pieces

So you can make me whole!

I tried so hard! So hard!

I tried so hard!

Then I'll see your face

I know I'm finally yours

I find everything I thought I lost before

You call my name

I come to you in pieces

So you can make me whole

I was just thinking about something my boyfriend told me a while ago about how his heart was kinda broken into little puzzle pieces and how I was helping him to put some of the pieces together.

I thought that what he said finally started to make sense after I read this song.

Oh, and , the whole world reminds me of you , that song....ah, good story behind that

The Whole World Reminds Me Of You
by Thirsty Merc
album: Slideshows (2007)
I set off on the open road
I guess I've got to find myself that's true
I don't know what I'm looking for
Well maybe all the roads lead back to you
The journey only makes me cry
I'm such a fucking selfish guy its true
I've probably gone and done it right?
I've probably gone and lost you..
Why does the whole world remind me of you?
She's all i ever knew
Its so bad
When a photograph is all you have
Why does the whole world remind me of you?
She's all i ever knew
Its so bad
When a photograph is all you have
All i got is memories
And slideshows of cityscapes
I don't know what came over me
I Don't know what came over me to make me go away
I guess I'm just a lost dog
I Guess i'm just young and confused again
I'll try and work out what i want
I hope i see you again
Why does the whole world remind me of you?
She's all i ever knew
Its so bad
When a photograph is all you have
Why does the whole world remind me of you?
She's all i ever knew
Its so bad
When a photograph is all you have
Of You yeah
And the villiage is lined with street markets
But i know i'll see you again
I dont know why i left when the targets
Were on the sights again
Why does the whole world remind me of you?
She's all i ever knew
Its so bad
When a photograph is all you have
Why does the whole world remind me of you?
She's all i ever knew
Its so bad
When a photograph is all you have
Why does the whole world remind me of you?
She's all i ever knew
Its so bad
When a photograph is all you have
Why does the whole world remind me of you?
She's all i ever knew
Its so bad
When a photograph is all you have...

Ok, so this song, is kinda like an ode to Josh, who , you know, still apparently has me on his phone wallpaper for some strange reason, and I understand, he really did love me. And I was bitchy enough to ignore that. I wish i didn't doubt people's feelings so much, and mistrust people, lol

Anyways, Josh, this is thanks for all the memories you've given me and I hope you find a beautiful girl who'll love you back as much as you love her.

*hugs Josh *

*hugs Marcus*

*hugs every guy she knows*

*hugs Tim*

Life is complex , no?

ON A LIGHTER NOTE : EXAMS ARE OVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRr

Yes

That's

OVER = FREEDOM!!!

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Yes, i am happy , don't judge

Tonight , a party was to be had, and marcus was going to take me, but josh and him were deciding who would pick me up when marcus slapped josh and josh was like WTF.

I think something's wrong with Marcus. He's just going off for some reason. I need to have a LONG chat with him.

Apparently, he's jealous that I'm in a relationship yet again and he hasn't had one in months. MAYBE IF HE STOPPED OBSESSING OVER HIS EX AND MOVED ON.

I like marcus, he's a nice guy.

But i hate him for ruining his life because of me. and we didn't even like each other that much, ours was a user-relationship. I usd him for stuff, he used me for stuff.

Popularity for money.

Simple.

And it's pissing me off that my bf is taking marcus's affection as me saying yes please.

W?HAT? THE HELL?!argh

blog later

YAY

exams over

hope you all have awse hols

BYe!

If it Comes in Pink I'll Take It! ^_^

2007-11-11T13:52:00.000+09:00

Heyaz,
well, today, I decided to have a little themed post. Something in the mind of ... PINK.
I love pink ,it's such a pretty girly color, who wouldn't love it?
That said... ICON ATTACK!! ^_^

I know, I know, I LOVE IT ! It's so pretty and beautiful. One of the best colours in the spectrum imo *nods and grins*
Ooh, I need to continue that story I started out with don't I?
I'll do that later.
Erm.... oh, right , i was going to write a smarting poem.
So... hm...
Ah, lemme see....

Misfit - Me
Please, restrict your apologies, and your " You hate me"s,
I'm getting sick of it,
And It's not even my fault, that your head's so full of these dreams,
That I can't even compete with your image of me yet,
Stop expecting me to be, something I'm not capable of being...

I'm just what I am, what I'm supposed to be,
And I don't want to change,
I'm happy being, what I'm happy being, and that is me,
If you tell me I'm not normal, then I'll tell you yes, I'm just strange,
How many times do you want me to say it?
This is who I am.... I'm a misfit.

I like standing out, it's who I am, it's what I'm all about,
I don't want to be a beauty queen, plastic in a magazine,
I like my uniquety, how I make the world spin for me,
And if you can't handle me,
Then baby that's a shame,
But I can't change for you,
I can't change anything,
And if you won't let me be,
Oh,
Then I'm so sorry.

I don't like having to be unlike anything I've ever been,
I wish you stopped trying to mess me up,
If only you'd tear up all your paper dreams,
Because I've had enough.
I'm getting sick of it,
I'm getting rid of this,
These shackles you've put on me,
I don't want any of this,
Why can't you let it rest,
I'm tired of you hating who I am..... Oh, I'm a misfit.

Stop messing,
With my head,
Stop messing with my mind,
Just let,

Me be me,
Let me be,
Let me be who I am inside,
Not your dreams,
Not your girl,
Let me fly out and be myself...
And not someone else.....

Oh, I'm tired of searching myself for somebody else,
I'm tired of all the problems , all the things you've held against me.
I'm sorry, baby, sugar, honey, but this is the reality.
I am who I am....
I'm just a M- I - S- F- I -T.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ok, so the story behind that poem would be - > I was listening to " Everything I'm Not " by the veronicas which is about a guy trying to change the singer into a girl that she's not. So I took that and made it a tad more general. Not about a guy changing me more about anybody in particular.

Oh, I made another one

Skeletons - Me
Look at me, tell me now, who said you were right to judge my faults?
I'm allowed, beyond a reasonable doubt, to pledge my case to the court,
Now, who said, I was a pure person with no blood to my name,
I'm not a victim, I'm another person you can blame,

Because I know, what it's like to have skeletons in my closet,
But then again, my time isn't over yet
I'll tell you all of my dirty little secrets,
But please,
Don't judge me,
For trying to keep them.

Everyone's pointing their fingers at me,
Telling me, girl, you shouldn't have hidden these sort of things,
Well, momma, poppa, how could I possibly see,
That this is what happens, when you lock everything inside of your sins,

I am guilty, guilty of loving you too hard,
I am guilty, guilty of wanting more than you had,
I am guilty, of breaking your heart into shards,
Oh I am guilty, I am guilty, why do you think I'm so sad

There are things I thought you knew,
But maybe I overestimated you,
Told you all my secrets, out of the blue,
Now I'm regretting ever loving you.

Look at me now.... I'm like a broken piece of a broken chessboard,
Look at me now, I'm like a silent stream, an open shore,
Look at me now, I'm like the little voice you drowned out too soon,
Look at me now, I'm like the summer wind in the middle of June,
And I can't hurt you, no , no,
Not with my secrets,
I cannot let you go,
Because I hold you too close to my chest.

And I don' t miss you anymore,
I don't live in regret,
I don't miss you walking out that door,
Because it had to happen soon yet.
And if you love me still, will you please forget the tears I've cried,
And if you need me still, will you please forget the times I've lied,
And if you want my heart, then it's yours to have if you promise me one thing,
If you break it again, you won't judge me worse for hating the man I'm loving........
If you break my heart, the thousand pieces will scatter apart,
And if you break my heart, I'm not so sure I could get it to start,
Again.
And if you break my spirit, I'm sure I can bring it back up,
But if you break my soul, I don't think I'd be able to love.
No, no, no.

You held my heart for one split second,
Took my life and made me reckon,
If you love me, hold it closer,
If you want me, hold me closer,
And if you need me, then love me stronger,
Because I can't take it,
Any much longer.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx00000000000000000000000000xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Right, that's one more to the belt.

Here's a really old one i wrote ages ago

Betrayed - Me

You're tired of people telling you,
That you're not good enough,
You want me to hold you,
When things start to get rough,

But I hurt a lot right now,
Barely making it somehow,
No one knows who I am anymore,
Couldn't get you to stop walking out that door.

Sometimes, things explode,
And our love's going to implode,
And no one's here to help,
We're walking a short one way road to hell.

Everything comes back down to this,
That moment I saw you two kiss...

If you had held my hand,
The way you held hers,
If you had needed me,
The way you needed her,
Then I might have stayed,
But, there's no use now...
Our love is gone,
I am moving on,
I have nothing left to say,
I am betrayed.

You try to walk with me,
Try to make it all up,
But I can't live a lie, you see,
So maybe it'd be better if you stopped.

I like being with you,
No, I'm lying, I love being with you
But you went and did, what you had to do,
I'm sure that you're probably sitting there, thinking of me,
Wishing, I was still yours,
But, I'm sorry, that's how you played your cards.

Somehow , I knew, it would be all spoiled by you,
I knew it would
Somewhere, you say, that you're going to do now, what you said you wish you could.

But if only
You had held my heart,
The way you held hers,
If you had wanted me,
The way you wanted her,
Then I might have stayed
But there's no use now,
Our love is gone,
And I have not a damn thing left to say.
Baby, look what you've done,
I feel so betrayed.

Must be your unlucky day,
And yes, all this hurt is here to stay,
I love to see , see you cry,
And I'm pretty sure by now you know why
Must have been, so much fun,
Lying in her arms,
And now you're hanging onto me
But that's not how it works baby

Every step, that you took,
I wrote it all down in my book,
Every word, that you said,
Telling me you loved me with one look,
I wish I , hadn't listened to all your cheating lies,
I can't love you anymore,
I can't love you, you cold hearted boar,
I can't love this lie you've become.....

So now, you're holding onto me,
They way you held onto her,
Now you're kissing me,
The way I saw you kiss her,
Now you're trying to woo me,
But you thought I didn't see you try to do the same,
Oh, who do I have to blame?
It's you, you sick, naive prick,
You're the one who's left me with nothing to say,
Our love is gone, I am gone.
I am betrayed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxoooooooooooooooooooooxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
That one was inspired by this movie i saw where the guy and girl are madly in love then he goes and cheats on her then wants her back but no matter how hard he tries she doesn't take him back.
Love sucks, huh? haha, kidding.
^_^

RIGHTTTTTTTTTTT ENOUGH EMONESS FOR ONE POST! LET'S DO THE MAMBO!!!!
=P
ByezieS i'm gonna go get ready for the indian festival thingy tonight....laters alligators.
xoxo
Netty

GAY RIGHTS FOR GAYS

2007-11-10T12:11:00.000+09:00

Lol, heyaz...
Erm, well, I need a valuable distraction so I've decided to do a little thing on Gay Marriages, and gay rights in general.
I was having a heated discussion with my boyfriend about Gay People and How they should have the right to get married. Obviously, Tim disagreed, and he said, oh, it's just disgusting and ... it's like legalising someone marrying a goat!
Well, here's the thing...GAY People ARe Human Beings.
Get that?
I mean. Think about it, we're all born the same way, same hands, eyes, hair, voice, everything. We're given the same tools . What we do with it is up to us.
If it's illegal for gay people to get married, then it should be illegal for disabled people to get married.
If it's illegal for gay people to get married, then it should be illegal for potential murderers, potential rapists, potential postmen, potential policemen ( who are basically legal murderers if you think about it) to get married too.
It should be illegal for us to eat so much food when on the other end of the world children are dying of disease and starvation, and malnutrition.

But none of that is illegal.
People all over the world are allowed to walk hand in hand down the aisle and exchange their vows and be bound by the ties of matrimony.
Marriage is a beautiful thing, a wedding ceremony is the one thing someone plans for eight or nine years in advance sometimes. Every little girl dreams of getting married. So why should it be wrong for gay people to not have the same dreams?
We're allowed to enjoy this experience with no prejudice no shame, no one stopping us and saying , it's illegal for you to love one another and to want to be together for the rest of your lives. To have and to hold til death do us part. In sickness and in health.
And yet, for some strange unknown STUPID RELIGIOUS REASON , gay people can't share the happiness straight people share. For some strange reason , it's vile and disgusting, and putrid, and wrong, and morally and religiously decrepid for one man to love another, or for one woman to love another.
WHAT THE HELL!??!
How can this be right?
Love is not about religion, cast, race, creed, culture, hair colour, hairstyle, clothes, smiles, nothing.,
LOVE IS ABOUT EMOTION . It's about feelings, and passion, and romance, and having someone you want to share the rest of your life with. Someone to cuddle when it gets cold in the night. Someone to hold your hand when you need a friend. Someone to be there for you through the best times and through the worst times.
SO WHY THE HECK ARE GAY PEOPLE NOT ALLOWED TO WANT THIS FOR THEMSELVES?

If it's so disgusting for people of the same sex to love each other,then why is it not disgusting for people of different sexes to love each other?

Gay people are just like any one of us. They function in THE SAME WAY. They go to work, they work 9 to 5 hours, they perform all their tasks effectively and in an organised manner. They get things done just as well as any other average office worker.
They come home, they clean up the house, they cook food, they sit down and watch the telly. they may go out clubbing, they dance like normal people ( sort of =P). They dress up, a tad like us, though....you know, give or take a bit of the gayness haha.
GAY PEOPLE ARE JUST LIKE US
So
Why
Discriminate?
Why? They do some of the same things a man does to a woman, so why is it wrong?
They kiss.
We Kiss.
They hug.
We Hug.
They laugh.
We laugh.
How are they different at all?
It may make you uncomfortable to seee two men or two women kissing or touching or being intimate, but guess what, it's not going to change. THEY DON'T GIVE A SHIT. You can say what you want, you can chuck whatever they want, but those two people are in love and there's nothing that can destroy love if it's true.
SO F OFF and leave GAY PEOPLE ALONE.
^_^ END OF RANT

La la la...some iconsies! ^_^
Clickies on these icons, it's really good backup for my rant

And a songles and some HILARIOUS WHO'S LINE clips ahhaha
Listen to this song, it's maddeningly sweet on my phone ^_^

Oh, lyrics, lyrics, right
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http://www.youtube.com/v/ki4zjTabJw0 that link too!! ^_^

I was Dead Wrong All Along

2007-11-09T19:51:00.000+09:00

Helllllllllllllllooooooooooo people ^_^
Right, well, what to say, what to say.
Well, so far it's been, what 3 exams? Elacs, STAT and Chem . Most of you have probably a) finished your exams ( my TEE peepul ) or b) had the same ones ( my canningian besties)
And today, that's friday, I decided to spend the entire day with the lovely human being I happen to be dating at the moment.
I don't know why , but I find myself able to spend unimaginable amounts of time on the phone with him, texting him, or on msn, or in real life, and it's just...
It's WEIRD
Am I going to be the gf who's all there then not?
Like, am I going to be the flavour of the month and he can't get enough of me then suddenly he's had his fill and he moves on?
Meh. One shall have to observe the tides and see how they flow.
Speaking of tides .... haha TIDE OF ICONS
These are cute iconlies ^_^

Erm, Let's see,

I was looking at that one and reading it through, and I was thinking, oh, gosh, well, he fits most of it. See if your boyfriend does too ^_^

oh yes i've been relistening to some songs that would be categorised as break up songs, because well, frankly, you never know you like or love someone until you imagine yourself without them, and in case I ever get mad at Tim, I always listen to a break up song and then I realise just how bad it would feel if those songs started making a lot more sense. So, if you ever get mad with the person you love, just listen to a break up song, think of how your life would be if they left you or you left them, think about whether what you're mad with them about is worth losing the one thing you can count on, and then decide, love or .... ^_^

Anyways, you know i LOVE THE FRAY . Their album is just sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo amazing. Beautiful beautiful love songs.
Realised how much I LOVE THE LYRICS . Like these, lookie

All At Once - The Fray

There are certain people
You just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
Where no questions cross your mind
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it, maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same
Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it, maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you had her, maybe you lost her to another
To another

Heaven Forbid lyrics
Twenty years, it's breaking you down
Now that you understand there's no one around
Take a breath, just take a seat
You're falling apart and tearing at the seams

Heaven forbid you end up alone, and you don't know why
Hold on tight, wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright

It's on your face, is it on your mind
Would you care to build a house of your own
How much longer, how long can you wait
It's like you wanted to go and give yourself away

Heaven forbid you end up alone, you don't know why
Hold on tight, wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright
Heaven forbid you end up alone, you don't know why
Hold on tight, wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright

It feels good
(Is that reason enough for you)
It feels good
(Is that reason enough for you)
It feels good (Is that reason enough for you)
It feels good (Is that reason enough for you)

Heaven forbid you end up alone, you don't know why
Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright
Heaven forbid you end up alone, you don't know why
Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright
Out of this one
I don't know how to get you out of this one
I don't know how to get you out of this one
I don't know how to get you out of this one
I don't know how to get you out of this one

Look After You lyrics

If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
I'll look after you

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
I'll look after you

If ever there was a doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly

Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
-------------------------
Beautiful beautiful beautiful ^_^
Right, now...erm...
how about a little story then?
Let's see . I've been in a very writey mood, and some of you probably remember how in 8th grade i used to write stories and stuff, instead of poetry. And then 9th i became the poet hahahahahah Love you guys for supporting my artistic crap.
Erm, let's see..story...
RIGHT I've got one...
There may be resemblances to certain real life characters. Think of it as a tribute, rather than a plagiarism of your personality
LA LA

Loving A Lie - Me

Chapter 1

His Point Of View :

" Did you hear that? ", I mumbled as I walked down the steps leading to the ground floor.
" Hear what? "
" That. That .... brr noise "
" What brr noise?"
" That brr noise!"
" Ya know, for a Law graduate, you're a real dumbass ", she rolled her eyes at me and gave me a playful shove from behind.
" Oh, yeah? Well, for a Med student, you're a real dumbass for dating a real dumbass. Uh huh! TAKE THAT! Ooh, would you like some ice for that burn? " I smirked and poked my tongue out at her.
She stopped in her step and glared up at me, and I immediately regretted talking back at her.
" Oh, you oaf. " That's all I heard her say as she pushed past me to get to the door at the end of the hallway.
Crap, crap, crap, crap, I've done it again, me and my big mouth. I have no idea why but for some strange reason I seem to have this insane need to screw things up by being oversmart. Like word vomit.
I just open my mouth.
And poof.
Word.
Vomit.
Like an uncontrollable spew of absolute gibberish of which I mean absolutely little and it's just because my brain thinks a lot slower than my mouth works.
" Gaah, I'm sorry, please, just come back, you know I'm dumb, you know I screw up heaps, but you know I - " and then I stopped.
See, most people would stop because they have something caught in their throat, the proverbial frog, as an illustration. Some people would stop because they just don't have anything left to say.
I stopped because I knew that I couldn't say what I wanted to say the most.
And that.
Simply Was.
That I love her.
There really was no question about it.
There was about 0.05% of me that didn't love her and that was because it wasn't even alive.
I loved everything about her. I loved the way her hair sort of shimmered in the sun and bounced about when she was walking. I loved running my hand through it. You know the expression, smooth as silk? She proves it.
And then of course there's her smile. Oh, God. That gorgeous set of teeth. I know, sounds a bit like a dental hygienist visit, but I swear, she had the straightest, neatest, brightest, set of teeth possible on a human being. And she had sweet soft lips that she put this insanely delicious lip gloss over.
And her body. Well, that's an entirely different subject. She kept on complaining about how she wasn't in the best shape and that she needed to lose a ton of weight and that she simply had no room left in her for any more fat ( though she'd proceed to gulp down a packet of crisps promptly after that statement ). Yet, somehow, I didn't see what she was on about. She had a beautiful figure; not skin and bones, not fat as an elephant ( like she liked to think ), but just right. Curves in all the right places. Not that I would have cared. Her personality would have made up for every inch of physical imperfection.
And I don't lie.
I'm going to roll out a huge bunch of cliches here, and I know you may potentially throw things at me for being such a sop, but frankly, this is how it works.
She walks into a room, and I swear, it's like a light's walked in. I can't think of anything else but her when she's standing next to me and looking up at me with her deep green eyes. I can see the world in those eyes. I can see my future with her.
I've had a lot of time to think of a future with the two of us together, actually, recently.
Now that she's coming off her parents' divorce nicely, and I've just got back from rehab, and I'm all drug- and alcohol-free, I think we're both in a really good place.
A really really good place.
I've been imagining us together, just sort of, starting off sitting on a bench in the middle of this empty park, and we're looking out over the city, and we're not kissing , we're just touching, just holding hands, just touching each other in the softest but most intimate way possible on a park bench in the middle of the evening, watching the sunset. And then, I imagine getting down on one foot, and just looking into those emerald eyes. I tell her everything I've wanted to say so badly for so long. The lines keep changing in my head, I keep refining the ideas, the thoughts, the compliments, I slow down my speech, I edit commas and punctuation marks, spelling and pronunciation, getting every word right in my head for when it finally happens.
So far, the only thing I've perfected is " I love you more than you will ever know. Will you marry me, Virginia Marsel? " Yes, I know, not the most eloquent line, but you have to understand, I'm pretty dissatisfied with myself. I just have so much to say, so much to tell her, so much I want her to know, so much I can't fit into my head, and it explodes in my mind, in my dreams, like a lovepalooza.
And it's at that point that my dreams tend to come to crossroads. Earlier, I used to have only dreams of her saying no, and walking away and just living me there, and the wind picks up slightly and I freeze over time in that position, incapable of moving, incapable of running away from the situation, incapable of letting the situation run away from me, just clinging to the box with the ring in it, hoping to God someone comes along and stabs me in the heart, so I can die, and not remain still in time, enduring those moments , those hours, those years, knowing that the one I love doesn't love me back.
But, now, it's a different story.
Now, I've been having these vivid dreams of her bursting into tears and jumping into my arms and crying out a muffled Yes, and hugging me and holding me and not letting me go, and shrieking with delight, and looking at the ring, then looking at me and me wiping the tears, and giving her the longest and most passionate and most meaningful kiss and the moon sort of delicately settles over us, and it seems like everything's just right in the world.
Of course, there's the things that come after that, like, the wedding, and the laughter in trying to plan it, like the different coloured plates, the different invitiations, what our names will be after we get married, and how good they sound together. The marriage bands, the marriage vows. I think I'd like to have my own marriage vows. Strange for a guy, I know, but, hey, I'm just like that. Call me overemotional or overthinking or GAY for all I care. I just..... I think about these things. I didn't think about them, though, till she came along and just....she just changed me. I can't explain it, but it's like things became a bit more bearable. A bit more.... normal. And I loved knowing that even if I did get into trouble, she'd be there by my side to guide me.
Anyways, where was I? Oh, yes, the wedding. Ah, she's walking down the aisle in this bit of my dream, she's got that soft smile on her face, that she gets when she's happy but she's trying not to burst out into laughing fits of joy and bounce around. Ever the proper girl.
I take her hand, we read our vows, we exchange rings. We're married.
It's beautiful, the whole thing, really. Til death do us part, he says, in sickness and in health. Everything, I'll be there for her for EVERYTHING. There is so little left inside me that isn't hers, that it's impossible that if something happens to her it won't not affect me.
Now, we've got kids.... two, three, four. Four is amazing. All that fun, a nice big family, going down to the beach, going shopping, tackling the boys , playing soccer with them, the family dog joining in too. The boys grow up and become spiffy engineers and lawyers, and the girls become brainy beautiful doctors, and everyone's happy. And she's spent the better part of her married life at home, taking care of them, the cute little housewife, giving me the peck on the lips before I head out to the office, being there to cuddle when I'm tired from work and need to relax.
Oh, don't worry, I'm not disillusioned. I know marriage is tough and it's hard work and it's not all glitter and gold. We fight, and we get cross and once we threw things at each other, but that was an accident. But, it's all worth it. It's our way of communicating. We argue. It's the only way we know how. I say something stupid, she reacts, but we eventually calm down and we realise that it's wasted being angry, when you love someone this much.

Oh, now the kids are gone. And we're alone. And we grow old together. And we sit in our rocking chairs on the patio and the kids come to visit with their kids! Oh, wonderful! Oh, and now .... we die in each others' arms. Just sleeping, lying there, looking at each other's sleeping faces.
And my dream ends and I wake up. And it's beautiful. And I fall in love with her about 800 times in one dream. And I jump out of bed and reach for my phone and she's already up and she's waiting for my call on the other end, and she's cooking breakfast and she invites me over and she's in those skimpy little shorts that I love and she's all bubbly and perky and such a morning person. And she looks so cute and housewifely and everything, and I replay the dream in my head, just putting her with a few more wrinkles, a bit more fat, and a few more gray hairs.
Beautiful.

I'm sorry, did I just go into an entire thing about how we were going to get married? I lost track of the story. Thinking about her just sets me off, I apologise greatly.
Now, where was I?
Ah, right, I'd messed up again .......so there I was apologising and trying not to say I love you.

Her Point Of View :
I think I almost cried.
He just stopped mid sentence. Like it hurt him to tell me how he felt. Like being around me was torture in itself, to confess that his heart wanted me and his head hated me, it was strangling him inside I bet.
I remember the first time he said I love you. I remember bursting out into laughter, because I knew it was just one big lie. Like he cared.
He didn't care at all.
Like all those moments I start talking to him and midsentence he decides to start talking about his car. I seriously feel like slapping him.
And all those insults. He just randomly says mean things, and there's a bit of me that knows he's joking, but there's a bigger bit going, " But , What If He Meant It?"
Plus, all the times he just pisses me off by not defending me when his friends who I also happen to be friends with make fun of me. Like, I'll be standing there, and one of his " best friends " says , " Haha, you're such a dork . " or something along those lines. Nothing really serious, I'm sure he'd step in there, but I wanted him to defend me even for the little things. If he loved me, he'd do that wouldn't he?
Or all the times that I wait for a call from him but he doesn't call, he doesn't email, he doesn't do anything. He just....waits for me to say something. Why?! Does this mean I want to talk to him but he doesn't want to talk to me? Because if he did, the book says he'd write first. But, nope, nothing.
And when I pointed it out a couple of weeks ago, he was like, oh, but I don't want to swamp you with me, and oh, I don't want you to get bored of me or anything.
How can I possibly?!
I love him, goddamnit.
I love everything he does. The way his hair sort of sits in a messed up ruffled pile on his head, and how sensitive he is about it, but how much I love its messiness. It just makes him who he is. And I love running my hand through his hair. It's so much fun to play with. Like having my own dog at my disposal. And such an adorable dog too.
I love his smile and how it spreads to his eyes so easily. Like, he'll just start randomly smiling about the dumbest things, like..... chinese food, and he'll grin, from ear to ear, and I can't help grinning too.
It's like an infectious happiness, that spreads to me. I can't help but smile and laugh and I love how amazingly crazy he gets and how he does the most randomest things, like climb trees and jump over steps. Just an absolute nutter.
Oh, did I mention he has these sharp bluey-hazel eyes. He likes to say they're hazel, but I've been looking into them often enough to know that they're bluey more than hazely. But, he won't admit he's wrong , which is alright, I'll let him win this one. That's what people in love do. They make compromises, and sacrifices.
Oh, he has this expression, it's just the cutest, I can't quite describe it, it's one of those, " You Had To Be There To See It " moments. And he has this really loud way of acting, like an absolute can of worms that everytime you open them you don't know what you're getting. He's just full of these amazing, hilarious, insane, lovely surprises, and I'll never quite get tired of him, I should think.
Oh, and he has a pretty good body, I have to be frank. I never quite understand why he gets hung up about parts of it; he's hot to me, and I think that should be good enough for him. He keeps comparing himself to one of my ex's , and I try desperately to explain that his body is the one I crave, not someone else's. Not Arnold Schwarznegger, not Danny Devito. Just. Him.
I love how when he texts me he calls me a princess, it's so cute, and so affectionate, and I've never been called princess before and I've always wanted to, and it fits me so beautifully. He just knows me so well.
But, that might be the problem. Maybe he knows me a little too well.
Maybe he knows me like the back of his hand, but how often do you look at the back of your hand with affection, like, " Oh, how amazing is the back of my hand?!!" . Exactly. It doesn't happen. I'm going to be that thing that helps him along and gives him some sort of use, but he'll just be staring at me going, yeahhhhhh...........nah.... Not that interesting.
And, he occasionally makes references to these dreams he's been having with me in them. What, HACK AND SLASHES?! OH and, he keeps dropping hints about me and him being together for a while. But , if the way I see it is right, that's not how things are going to go. He'll ride out this phase and he'll start feeling for another girl. Probably some random chick he'll meet at a party, or maybe someone he met from rehab.
I mean, why would he want to stay with me? I'm so..... gurgh. There's no better way to describe me. I know I'm attractive and all that, but.... enough to fall in love with? I think not! And what about two years or twenty years down the line? Growing old with me, he said once? I think not! Growing old together would take the space of 1 millisecond, and we're automatically older. Is that what he meant, because, haha, funny, but I wish just for one second he'd tell me upfront.
Does he or doesn't he want me enough to want to spend the rest of his life with me? Because living these doubts and dreams of a white church wedding and family and dogs, it's all fine for him, but ,......... but............I'm in limbo, here, and I don't know what to do. Do I hate him inexorably for never speaking his mind and leaving me hanging or hold on knowing that someday he might? Sometimes.....just.....sometimes...............Oh, dear, he's coming back to talk, now what?

End of chapter 1 ^_^
IT's a bit bloggy, yes , I know, and it's not really a story, but I like setting the foundations first for this one. It's semi-autobiographical if you may.
Right, I'm off to bed. Tomorrow, a continuation, some icons, and a GAY rights THINGY! BECAUSE TIM IS PISSING ME OFF WITH HIS HOMOPHOBIA AHHAHAHA ^_^
Love ya all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Netty

Re-Offender

2007-11-07T19:20:00.000+09:00

First, an emo poem that's been in my head and something my boyfriend did today just sort of pushed me to want to type it.
This may or may not be referring to him. I'm not in the mood right now to say it doesn't .
I love him, but I just don't like him right now lol. I hope he doesn't hate me for saying this. It's not him. It's just.... the mood.
The mood
Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
Ok, I'm happy now, lol
^_^
Love you tim.

Now, poem.
Right.
Btw, this song is influenced by Re-Offender by Travis which i have been listening to obsessively, and all of you who call yourselves my friends know how intensely i get influenced by music when i'm writing poetry, so ...^_^

That Boy - Me

My mama told me don't you put your hopes in one boy,
Don't let him crush you, play you around,
Treat you just like a toy
I told her , mama, this boy, he ain't like all the other guys in town.

And he ain't gonna make me hurt, not the way you think he will,
I don't think he'll ever break me or make me cry,
And ten years from now, he'll be holding my hand still.
And then she turned to me, she stared me dead in the eyes,

She said honey, this is what they all do, this is what they all say,
Then one day you're gonna come running home sorry,
Say why does it have to hurt, why do I have to feel so lonely,
And that's when I told her I was going away,

Because that's just what I had to do,
There's just something I had to prove,
And I know you could hate me forever,
But Mama, I just want you to know.......... I Love You

So, being me, I acted like myself would act,
I did what she told me not to do,
I grabbed his hand and held on to him like a thumbtack,
And he let him fool me with his " I Love You"

I looked in his eyes and thought I saw the truth,
Thought he wouldn't lie,
No, that's something he'd never do,
And every time that he made me cry,
They were tears of joy, because he said " I Love You "

There was a piece of me that kept wondering why,
I was having all these silly doubts inside of my head,
Couldn't understand why we couldn't try,
To fix the little things hidden under the pillow on your bed.

And then I started seeing something else,
Started seeing your reflection going blurry and cold,
I started watching everything I knew,
Becoming everything my Mama told

I started listening and watching the signs,
But it was too late for me to stop,
Just watching the world crashing by,
And I was trying to stop the clock.

Because you were standing there staring at me,
Telling me you were so sorry,
Telling me that you didn't mean to hurt me so bad.

Because you're standing there holding my hand
Telling me I wish I'd understand,
That everything happened for a reason.

And I can't take the burning in me,
Like my heart got locked and you held the key,
And you just were too screwed up to give it back.

And I can't take it, just let me be,
Why do you have to haunt my sleep,
Why did my Mama have to be right....

Mama, why didn't I listen to you,
This boy you told me about, you told me what to do.
But I didn't see the light, I was too stuck in the darkness,

Now all that's left of me,
Is what he left me to be
Like a hollow shell,
And that's all I really deserve to feel, this is where I deserve to be.

Because you told me,
Mama
You told me that he'd break my heart,
But see, mama,
I believed him,
I loved him,
So bad.
That even if he doesn't love me anymore,
I always will,
And that's the feeling that kills.

-----------------00000000000000000000000000000000000-----------------------
Haha, never said it was a good poem. ^_^ just had some of the lines stuck in my head, and i just typed random words in between.
How about a nice happy poem? lol, hmmmm... ok, i'll put one here...lemme think happy thoughts, happy thoughts

Right...let's try this

Baby boy, I think I might be in love with you,
I think there's nothing left in me that isn't for your posession
And every little thing you do,
Makes me smile inside, to know that you're my new found obsession.

And every time you laugh,
I think I laugh a little bit too,
Every time you cry,
It hurts me more than I know it should do.

And every time you say my name,
I think I fall a bit more in love with you,
And every time you hold my hand
I think I walk a little faster too

And every single love song that they've wrote,
I put your name and my name in,
And every single romantic scene,
I put you and me dancing in the rain.

There's a scene in that movie that I seem to love,
It's a boy, it's a girl, and they're dreaming of,
Each other, in each other's arms, in each other's hearts, in each other's futures,
And there's a part of me that's hoping we could do something like that together.

There's a line in a song that I heard not too long ago,
It goes something like, " What will it take to get you to know,
That everything and everyone around me is just for show,
You're the only thing I ever want,
The only thing I'll ever hold,"

I hold you close to my heart,
No, that's just a lie,
I hold you closer than that, I hold you closer than everything in fact.
I yearn for every night,
That I get to see your eyes,
And I only believed in love at first sight,
When you looked at me with that soft crazy smile

And you drive me crazy with every word you whisper in my ear

I can't take the way you make me feel,

My intentions are very clear.

I want to be whisked away,

In your arms,

Taken to the one place, I know no harm

And that's anywhere I am,

With you.

I love it when your hands are running right through my hair,

And the tingles and the chills and thrills,

Oh, nothing can compare,

All the smiles and styles and wild crazy nights,

Just being there with you,

There's nothing else in this world I want than to be here touching you.

Baby, if there's anything I know well enough anymore,

It's that I need you to hold me tight,

Never let go of me, never push me off,

Not once, just for one night,

I want to be with you more than I want to be with myself,

And there's no one in this world I love more than you,

And that's my promise to you, there really is no one else.

So if one day you wake up,

And I'm the only thing you think about,

And you drink your milk,

And I'm the only thing you think about,

And you look out the bus window,

And I'm the only thing you think about,

And you sit with your friends,

And I'm all you can talk about.

Then wake up

And see me lying next to you,

Drink your milk,

And notice I'm the one who poured it for you,

And get on the bus,

And notice I'm in the seat next to you,

And talk to your friends,

And I'm standing there, holding your hand,

And letting you know that I'm doing the same too.

I love you,

Isn't that good enough?

I love you,

Is that so tough,
I love you,

You're the only one,

I love you,

You are my everything, my heart, my soul, my sun.

I love you

Yes I really do.

Do You?

------------------00000000000000000000000000000---------------------------------

Yay. Not that great a poem but meh, i'm working on low right now.

And now, what else do i need to include?

Oh. ICONS! ^_^ right, right... here we go...hmm...hm...hm....hm....hm....Right, found some! ^_^

My internet is acting wacky. Shall repost later

LOVE YOU ALL!!! ^^

*mwah mwahz*

Black Fingernails, Red Wine

2007-11-05T08:57:00.000+09:00

Heyaz all,

Well, ok, my earlier post was a whole lot of stuff about the hairspray story, etc, etc. Which is good btw, a real feel-good movie and when you come out of the theatre you usually are humming at least one of the songs. Personal Head=Stuck=Song =>> Good Morning Baltimore

But the other songs are AMAZING too. I downloaded the soundtrack, it's sooo much fun singing along.

And of course, James Marsden, gawd, I LOVE HIM.

Yes, I have something for hot, tall, brunettes. GET LOST ^_^

Erm, ooh, James Marsden pic would be good here...let's search for one....

James Paul Marsden (born September 18, 1973) is a former Versace model and an American actor, perhaps best known for playing Scott "Cyclops" Summers in the X-Men films.

Yes, The reallly really really really HAWT guy who plays beamy-eyes?!?! THAT"S HIM! IS HE NOT THE HOTNESS?!

My fav james marsden movie = that one, erm........................oooh mind blank.

Oh yeah, Gossip. THAT MOVIE IS AMAZING WATCH IT IT's sexy and hawt and scandalous and thrilling and you'll never anticipate the ending. =P

He's such a good actor, and a really good husband apparently. He has 2 kids, and he's really devoted to them. He takes time off from acting to be there for them.........awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ^_^

I love him in the Notebook too as Lon Hammond. Awwwwwww Poor guy , I love that story. Guess who wrote the book? The same guy who wrote a Walk To Remember.

Yes

Know

SEX SEX SEX

That got your attention =P

Hahahahhaha those books are so amazing, they're so romantic and so beautiful and you can't help but cry at the end. It's amazing. Two definite top movies for me.

Hmm.. big font rocks.

Sorry.

I just like big font.

It's not size that matters it's what you do with it.

Ok, back to small again. La la al Haha....sorry, I'm just mucking around , anything to avoid studying.

And now, for some emoness D:

~ Sad Love Quotes ~

*I wish you loved me the way I loved you but then I remembered, my wishes never come true.

*It's hard to smile when your happiness is all lies and you have tears in your eyes.

*Tears are just words the heart can't say.

*Pleasure of love lasts but a moment, Pain of love lasts a lifetime

*Loving someone is torture until that someone loves you back

*The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else

*The worst way to miss someone is when they are standing right next to you, and you know you cannot have them

*What can you do when the only one who can stop you from crying, is the one making you cry

*Why did fate allow us to meet, if we could never be together?

*I need u more than I've ever needed anyone or anything in my life. But u don't need me & when the day comes that u do, I'm not sure that I'll admit to needing u.

*I never thought u'd hurt me. I guess you live & learn that when u play with fire, u'r bound to get burned. I've been mistreated, I've been used before, I get kicked in the face, but I still come back for more.

*My heart was taken by you, broken by you, and now is in pieces because of you.

*The strangest thing happened last night, I woke up with tears in my eyes and knew I must have been dreaming of you

*You know you love someone when you want them happy, even if it means you are not part of it

*Love makes us a little weaker, but in the end you'll be a little stronger

*Never give up if you still wanna try, never stop the tears if you still wanna cry, never settle for the answer if you still wanna know, never say you don't like him if you can't let him go

*I miss you when something really good happens, because you're the one I want to share it with.
I miss you when something is troubling me, because you're the one who understands me so well.

I miss you when I laugh and cry, because I know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow, and me tears disappear.

I miss you all the time, but I miss you the most when I lay awake at night, and think of all the wonderful times that we spent with each other for those were some of the best and most memorable times of my life. I miss you.

*Don't say you love me unless you mean it, 'cause I might do something crazy like believe it

*I could hold on a little tighter I know, but when you love someone you gotta let em go, so Im gonna smile and laugh so you can't see me cry, Im gonna let you go in style, and even if it kills me, I'm gonna smile

*I'm scared to fall in love. Afraid to love so fast....because every time I fall in love it seems to never last.

*As you left and said your goodbyes, you forgot to tell my heart how to live without you.

*A golden rule to live by, to keep us girls on track: NEVER love a player, cuz he'll NEVER love you back.

*I wish my mom told me the same thing about guys that she did about scary movies... "don't worry hunny they're all fake"

*Piece by piece, shred by shred, sooner or later, you'll be outta my head, my head won't hurt, my heart won't ache, I won't have a soul filled with hate. Even though you're gone with someone new, I'll always have the memories, of me being with you

*Frustrated cuz I can't tell if it's real. Mad cuz I don't know how u feel. Upset cuz we can't make it rite. Sad cuz I need you day and night. Angry coz you won't take my hand. Aggrivated cuz you don't understand. Dissapointed coz we can't be together. But still I'll love you foreva.

GOOD MORNING BALTIMORE

2007-11-04T22:07:00.000+09:00

Doing a bit on hairspray , an AWESOME movie:

Plot

May 3, 1962 begins the same as every other school day for Tracy Turnblad, a "pleasantly plump" high school student from Baltimore, Maryland.

She endures a day's worth of boring classes so that she and her best friend Penny Pingleton can race home to catch their favorite TV program, The Corny Collins Show.

The program, a teen dance show, is broadcast from Baltimore's station WYZT on weekday afternoons.

Some of the teenagers featured on the show also attend Tracy and Penny's school, in particular snobby rich girl Amber von Tussle and her heart-throb boyfriend Link Larkin (Zac Efron), with whom Tracy is madly in love.

Amber's mother Velma (Michelle Pfeiffer) manages station WYZT, and goes out of her way to make sure Amber is prominently featured and that Corny Collins remains a segregated program.

Corny Collins (James Marsden) and all of his "Council Kids" are white; black kids are only allowed on Corny Collins on "Negro Day", held the last Tuesday of each month and hosted by local R&B radio dee jay Motormouth Maybelle (Queen Latifah).

Neither Tracy's plus-sized shut-in laundress mother Edna (John Travolta) nor Penny's strict Catholic mother Prudy (Allison Janney) approve of their daughters basing their lives around a TV show, particularly one where teens dance to "race music".

Tracy's father Wilbur (Christopher Walken), a joke-shop proprietor, is far more lenient.
On one day's show, Corny Collins announces that one of his "Council Kids" is going on a leave of absence ( a 9 month one *winks*), and auditions for a replacement will be held the next morning - during school hours.

However, Velma turns Tracy away at the audition for being overweight and supportive of integration. ( BITCH )

Tracy is sent to detention for skipping school, but finds that detention hall is where the black kids hang out and dance. Tracy befriends the detention hall's best dancer, Motormouth Maybelle's son Seaweed (Elijah Kelley), who teaches Tracy several R&B dance moves. These moves secure Tracy a spot on The Corny Collins Show.

Tracy quickly becomes one of Corny's most popular Council Kids and a threat to Velma's quest to have Amber win the show's yearly "Miss Teenage Hairspray" pageant.
In addition, Tracy also becomes a threat to Amber's courtship with Link, as the boy becomes increasingly fond of Tracy and less so of Amber.
Tracy's popularity earns her a sponsorship offer from clothes salesman Mr. Pinky who wants Tracy to be the spokesgirl for his "Hefty Hideaway" boutique for plus-sized women. Tracy convinces Edna to accompany her to the Hefty Hideaway and act as her negotiating agent, and in the process brings her mother's days as an agoraphobe to an end.

At school, Tracy eventually introduces Seaweed to Penny, and the two are instantly smitten with each other. One afternoon after Amber deliberately gets Tracy sent to detention, Link gets himself deliberately sent there in support of her.

There Seaweed invites the girls and Link to follow him and his sister Little Inez (Taylor Parks) to a platter party at Motormouth Maybelle's record shop. At the party, Maybelle informs everyone that Velma has canceled Negro Day. Tracy suggests that Maybelle and the others stage a protest march, which they plan for the next afternoon, a day before the Miss Hairspray pageant.

Link, scheduled to sing at the pageant and worried about his budding career, backs out of the demonstration and accidentally offends Tracy in the process. ( Men *eye roll )

The next morning, Tracy sneaks out of the house to join the protest march, which comes to a halt at a police roadblock set up by Velma. The entire company of protesters is arrested, although Tracy manages to escape.

She flees to the Pingletons' house, where Penny lets her hide out in a basement fallout shelter. However, Prudy discovers Tracy and calls the police, tying Penny to her bed upstairs with a jump rope. Seaweed and a few of the other detention kids (having been bailed out by Wilbur) arrive and help Tracy and Penny escape, and the kids concoct a plan to crash the Miss Teenage Hairspray pageant.

Meanwhile, Link visits Tracy's house in order to look for her, and realizes that he is as much in love with her as she is with him. Seaweed and Penny also acknowledge their love during the escape from her house.

With the pageant underway, Velma, leaving nothing to chance, places policemen around and inside station WYZT in order to prevent Tracy from entering.

In addition, Velma switches the tallies from the pageant's phone lines so that Amber is guaranteed to win. Penny arrives at the pageant with an incognito Edna, while Wilbur, Seaweed, and the Detention Kids help Tracy sneak past the police and into the studio in time to participate in the Miss Hairspray dance-off. Link breaks away from Amber to dance with Tracy; then he pulls Inez, who has just arrived at WYZT with Maybelle, to the stage to dance for the pageant.

Against all expectations, Inez receives the most votes and wins the pageant, officially integrating The Corny Collins Show. A perturbed Velma loudly declares her frustration, informing her daughter of the tally-switching scheme.

Unknown to Velma, Edna has trained a camera on her, and Velma's outburst is broadcast live on the air, getting her fired. Meanwhile, The Corny Collins Show set explodes into a celebration as Link and Tracy cement their love with a kiss.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
^_^
It's such a cute movie. Watchies watchies watchies!! ^_^

2007-11-03T23:34:00.000+09:00

* SiGNS Y0U L0VE HiM ;;
- you stare at him a lot. ( Check )
- he always makes you laugh.( Check )
- you can tell him anything. ( Check )
- you always seem to find yourself thinking about him. ( check)
- when he's anywhere nearyou, you have to be with him. (check )
- you go crazy over every little thing he does or says. ( mostly check =P)
- whenever your with him you can't help but smile.( haha, mostly )

* SiGNS HE L0VES Y0U ;;
- he stares back at you. ( I catch him doing it enough times. And I love it )
- he always has to make you laugh. ( haha, definitely )
- you always seem to make him laugh too. ( he's hyper, so he giggles like a maniac at anything. Love that =P)
- whenever your around, hes with you.( actually, yes )
- he call's you every chance he gets.( hmm....probably but only because it's free)
- he touches you whenever hegets the chance, even if it's just a little touch.( YES haha )
- he picks you over his boys.( He's told me that enough times for me to believe it )

I Wanna Be The One He's Up All Night ThinkingAbout & I Wanna Be The One He's TellingAll The Boys That He Just Can't Live Without.

The best part of breaking up ==== finding someone else you can't get enough of...

I don't think you fall out of love until you fall into someone else.
I know i'm still young and i have a lot to learn but i'm not that stupid little teenage girl who wouldve believed anything
I laugh too hard at little things.
I cry a little bit too easily.
I fall too hard for boys.
I constantly spill stuff on myself and I can never seem to keep my room clean.
I’m not beautiful, I’m not smart, I’m not skinny, and I’m not a complete prep or a complete athlete.
I’m just me and I don’t change for anyone or anything.

Let's slow dance & be the couple everybody wishes they could be.
Let's walk in the rain & hold hands the whole time.
Let's look at the stars and kiss all night.
Let's take it slow then speed it up.
Let's take stupid pictures & laugh until we can't breathe.
Let's be friends, let's be together, you & me.
You know what?
I don't regret anything i've ever done in the past.
& Do you know why?
Because everything i've ever done has led me to you. & this is where i want to be.

Sorry, had to copy a couple of nicely wicely quotes, just to say stuff. Feel free to copy and paste. I just read these online and thought, aww, cute ... it's like putting the equivalent in icons. ^_^

& I hope the next girl to hold your hand
holds on just a little tighter than I did
and realizes how lucky she is to have you

When your married and have kids
& your little girl asks who your first true love was
[ i hope you say my name ]
I want you to remember the feel of my hair .
And remember the scent of my perfume I always wear.
Remember my laugh and how sweet our kisses used to be.
Remember the way that you used to love me.

Even after it was over && everything was said && done
They knew they still loved eachother && always will because your first love lives on
If there`s anything you should do before you die, allow me to suggest something: look into someone`s eyes, someone who you really care about, really look at them, just look at their face, their eyes, take them in, breathe their breath into your lungs at a moment when they're most happy.. And I promise you, you`ll never see anything more beautiful than the expression on their face, or the one on yours. =)
--------------->.t04ot4
Quotes again up there.

Hello California!

2007-11-02T21:32:00.000+09:00

Heyaz, all...
So.....hmmmmm What's special about today?
Well, today's my DAD'S B'DAY! YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY
I love my Dad , heaps and heaps and heaps. He's one of the biggest reasons I'm here. My mom wanted to send me off to Malaysia to study for pre-med, but my dad believed I needed to have my eyes opened. And if i had gone there instead of here, I wouldn't have met all the awesome people I've met . Like aileen, annabelle, the other anna ( Anna Lim) Anastacia, Anastasia ( or Sasha, mah homegirl!) , Adam, Anas, April, Billy, Casey, Lance, Uri, Lilia!!!!!!, TIM *hugs and kisses*, Tanya, Martin, Cameron, Rebecca, Sarah, Andys, and Chris's, MAY AND JOY ^_^ , Kumu, David, Janet, JUST EVERY SINGLE HUMAN BEING I KNOW! Thank you so much. For all the drama, all the happiness, sadness, I love you guys undeniably. And I'll always remmeber you! *hugs and kisses and tears* I'm really going to miss you guys, I really am.

Erm, oh..... let's see , what else?
Oh, I just wanted to talk about...............erm........er........
Yeah, no, he knows what I'm thinking about by now, so it doesn't matter *grins*
Ttyl
xx Netty
TOMORROW'S THE RED BULL AIR RACE! !YAYT

La la la

2007-11-01T20:00:00.000+09:00

You HAVE TO WATCH THIS VID IT'S HILARIOUS ^_^
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCayacFcCX4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCbuRA_D3KU
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=L9oyr_MKABY

Worries Plague My Mind

2007-10-31T22:11:00.000+09:00

Ok, so, I can't help but blog today. Because quite a bit has happened to me in the space of 2 days. A lot Of Things.
I can't write it all down but good things and bad things have happeed. Mostly awesome things, but one BIG bad thing that could potentially bring it all down. And I can't write about it because I respect the people involved and because I don't want the " evil eye " shall we say?
Jealousy = BAD
So.........
I shall just write some poetry for this post ...
Enjoy!
xx Netty

Out of sight, out of mind,
That's what they all say,
You've made me blind,
But I can't seem to move away.
You've put me in a bad place,
And I can't get the guts to shoulder the blame,
Given me memories I can't erase,
And all I find is I'm stuck in shame.

And yet, I still can't believe I love you,
For hurting me, breaking me, taking my soul,
And , I still can't believe I need you,
When everything's going wrong, and you're the only hope I have left to hold.

I can't believe I'm still writing every song, just for you,
And I can't believe that all my rhymes seem to end with " I love you"
And no matter how many times you fake a "sorry "
I still find myself forgiving you,
What is wrong with me,
What am I supposed to do?

Can you hear me calling out,
Momma , poppa, save me now,
I don't want to fall in love and fall to the ground instead.

Can you hear me screaming now,
Momma, poppa, help me somehow,
I don't want to lose this man , please help me understand.

Why does it have to hurt so much ,
To love you, love you, more than anything I know,
Why can't I just have your touch,
And love you, love you, soft and slow.
Why can't I just have you in my arms,
Why can't you just keep away all your charms,
Why am I so blind to all your flaws,
Why do I keep showing you my scars,
Why can't I,
Can't I stop,
Loving who you are.

------------- etiier0iri
STUPID BLOGGER! IT SHORTED AND MY ENTIRE POEM WENT SO I HAD TO WRITE A NEW ONE AND THIS ONE IS SO MUCH SHITTIER THAN THE LAST ONE *breathes*
hahahaha sorry, rant
I put this entire house season finale thingy and stuff about supernatural....URGHJ!
NExt post!

His Son Chico

2007-10-29T22:24:00.000+09:00

^_^ Today I saw Finding Nemo after aaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss
It is depressing how long it takes for someone to finally decide to watch a movie that rocked before but got shelved
It's SOOOOOOOOO Cute. Decided to put in some quotes for reader/viewer pleasure.
WATCH THIS MOVIE AGAIN PEOPLE IT IS AWESOME!
^_^
Love yaz
xx Netty
Dory's alternative names for Nemo

---Your son Chico?
---He's lost his son, Fabio.
---His son, Bingo…
---Poor Rocko.
---Not much fun for little Harpo.
---Bye, Elmo!

Dory
------Hey, Mr. Grumpy Gills.
------[singing] Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim, swim.
------Are you my conscience?
------I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine. And he shall be my Squishy.
------No eating here tonight, no eating here tonight, no no no eating here tonight, you on a diet!

Hey, look. "Es-CA-pay". I wonder what that means? That's funny, it's spelled just like the word "escape."
Got it. Trench: through it, not over it... Hey, hey, hey, wait up I have something important to-- whoa, nice trench.

The SHARKS ROCKED TOO ^_^
Fish-Friendly Shark Pledge: I am a nice shark. Not a mindless eatin' machine. If I want to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends. Not food.

Bruce: Now there's a father looking for his little boy.....[whines] I never knew my father!!! [cries]

[edit] Crush the Turtle
Oh, I saw the whole thing, dude! First, you were like, whoa! And then we were like, WHOA! And then you were like, whoa.

Oh, man. Hey, no hurling on the shell, dude, okay? Just waxed it.

You, Mini-Man! Takin' on the jellies. You got serious thrill issues, dude.

It's awesome, Jellyman. Little dudes are just eggs, we leave 'em on the beach to hatch, and then — koo-koo ka-choo! — they find their way back to the Big Ol' Blue.

[while surfing the tide of the Eastern Australian Current] Righteous! Righteous! now give me some fin, nogin dude!!!!

[Nemo meets their teacher, Mr. Ray.]
Mr. Ray: Well, Nemo — all new explorers must answer a science question.
Nemo: [worried] Okay.
Mr. Ray: You live in what kind of home?
Nemo: [confidently] An an-ne-me-ne-mo-nem-ee! [not so confidently] A-nem-mo-ne-men… me-ne-mo-nee!
Mr. Ray: Okay, okay. Don't hurt yourself.

Bruce: Fish are friends, not food.
Anchor: Except stinkin' dolphins!
Chum: Dolphins! Yeah, they think they're so cute! "Oh, look at me, I'm a flippy little dolphin, let me flip for you!"

AND THAT'S ALL FOLKS ^_^
be back soonlies!

Where Did the Blue Skies Go?

2007-10-29T21:49:00.000+09:00

I was listening to Travis and decided to randomly BLOG.

SOOOOOOOOOO

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT DESPERATELY. I am a fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat human being with obvious self-esteem issues ahha. That said, I rock. No really, I rock. haha.... oh the plasticness.

I haven't been called a plastic in ages, it's weird.

I wonder why?

Maybe it's because my boyfriend was the principal source of "plastic" name calling?

Perhaps, perhaps.

Icons in this post, are there?

Posted, there shall be, icons

Right, that's enough for one post!! ^_^

So........ other things to fill this space..........

CHEMISTRY : My thoughts, my views, my experiences.

Basically me ranting.

So, Chem. Right...... Not that i have anything against the subject but it's seriously screwed up and boring. I mean it. BORING

Ninja Monkeys Are Meeting As We Speak to PLOT MY DEMISE HAHAHA

2007-10-28T13:17:00.000+09:00

I'm busy studying bio and human evolution on Wikipedia and it occurs to me.......
DRYOPITHECINES?!? Earliest man and his name is - Dry o pith ah seen?!
What the hell?
And btw, the first HOMO appeared 3 million years ago....ahahahahhahahaha
The first gay guy, 3 million years ago! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
SORRY
Cracks me up.
I recently saw a movie " Ratatouille" the pirated version which was strangely really really clear.
IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD.
MOVIE PLUG!!! ^_^

Plot
Rémy (Patton Oswalt) lives in a rat colony in the attic of a French country home with his brother Émile (Peter Sohn) and father Django (Brian Dennehy). Inspired by France's recently deceased top chef, Auguste Gusteau (Brad Garrett), Rémy does his best to live the life of a gourmet. Not appreciating his talents, his clan puts him to work sniffing for rat poison in their food.

The rats flee the house when the resident, an old woman, discovers the colony. Rémy, separated from the others, floats in the storm drains to Paris on a cookbook written by Gusteau, following the chef's image to his namesake restaurant, now run by former sous-chef Skinner (Ian Holm). As Rémy looks into the kitchen from a skylight a young man with no culinary talent, Alfredo Linguini (Lou Romano), arrives with a letter of introduction from his recently deceased mother, and is hired to do janitorial duties. While cleaning, Linguini spills a pot of soup and attempts to cover up his mistake by adding nearby ingredients. Horrified, Rémy falls into the kitchen and attempts to fix the ruined soup rather than trying to escape. Linguini catches Rémy in the act, just as Skinner catches Linguini. In the confusion some of the soup has been served. To everyone's surprise, the soup is a success.

The kitchen's sole female cook, Colette (Janeane Garofalo), convinces Skinner not to fire Linguini, provided he can recreate the soup. Skinner orders him to take Rémy away; Linguini cannot bring himself to kill Rémy, and instead begins an alliance by which Rémy secretly controls Linguini's cooking in return for his protection. The two perfect a marionette-like arrangement by which Rémy tugs at Linguini's hair to direct his movements while hidden under Linguini's toque blanche.

Skinner plies Linguini with vintage Château Latour in an unsuccessful attempt to discover the secret of his unexpected talents. The next morning, hung over and disheveled, Linguini nearly confides his secret to Colette. Desperately trying to stop Linguini, Rémy pulls his hair, making him fall on Colette and leading the two to kiss. They begin dating, leaving Rémy to feel abandoned. Meanwhile, Skinner learns from the letter of introduction that, unknown to everyone but his mother, Linguini is in fact Gusteau's son and stands to inherit the restaurant and imperil Skinner's ambition to exploit Gusteau's image to market prepared frozen foods.

One night, Rémy and his colony are reunited. While scrounging food Rémy discovers Gusteau's will which, after a chase by Skinner, he presents to Linguini. Linguini now owns the restaurant, fires Skinner, and becomes a rising star in the culinary world. Later, Rémy and Linguini have a falling out, with Linguini deciding he no longer needs Rémy's help. Rémy retaliates by leading a kitchen raid for his rat colony. Linguini attempts to apologize to Rémy, only to discover and expel his colony. Rémy feels guilty about hurting his friend, and refuses to join them in resuming the raid.

Things come to a head the night of a planned review by food critic Anton Ego (Peter O'Toole), whose contemptuous review of Gusteau's cooking reduced his five-star restaurant to four stars. When asked what he would like for the evening, Ego challenges the staff to prepare whatever they dare serve him. Linguini, unable to cook without the rat's guidance, admits his ruse to the staff, leading them all to walk out. Colette returns after thinking of Gusteau's motto, "Anyone can cook!" Django, inspired by his son's courage, returns with the entire rat colony to cook under Rémy's direction, while Linguini, discovering his true talent, waits tables on roller skates. Rémy decides to prepare ratatouille, a dish so good that a bite of it leads Ego to relive childhood memories of his mother. Ego asks to meet the chef; Colette insists he must wait until the rest of the diners have left. At the end of the service, Rémy and the rats are revealed. A changed man, Ego writes a glowing review, declaring that the chef at Gusteau's is the greatest chef in all of France.

In the dénouement Gusteau's is closed by a health inspector, who finds the rats after being tipped off by Skinner. Ego loses his credibility and job when the public discovers he has praised a rat-infested restaurant. Everything is for the best, however; with Ego as investor and regular patron, Linguini, Colette, and Rémy open a successful new bistro called "La Ratatouille," which includes a kitchen and dining facilities for both rats and humans.

------------------------0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-------------------------------------

Voila! ^_^ Watch this movie it's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOODOOODDODODOD

Also saw, that night, Carrie the new version.

OMG IT IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CREEEEEEPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

>.> I could not sleep that night.

On the same day, I went shopping in the city with tim where he bought me my favouritest perfume ever Young, Sexy and Lovely by Yves Saint Laurent and he bought me this AWESOME ring, it's so so so so so so pretty. We also went to Watch Saw IV. *hugs and kisses* I love yaz, you big chump . Sorry for going off at you for spending so much on me.

Erm, what else, what else.

Oh, right........err...........

MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL RAWKS!! Like honestly. ROCKETH!

Opening credits
Mock Subtitles
We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked.
We apologise again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, have been sacked.
The directors of the firm hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked. The credits have been completed in a entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute.

Hahahhaha and that is how it opens. Unless you have the collector's edition like me.... which ahs the opening Dentist on A Job thingy... It's SOOOOO COOL
^_^
Ok, brb, lunchies
xx Netty

No I Don't Wanna Know =P

2007-10-28T12:01:00.000+09:00

Hey all......

YEAH A resurgence of my frequent postage, woot woot.

Told you I wouldn't give this blog up! ^_^

Here's a few songs to start things off

Angels on the Moon- Thriving Ivory

Do you dream, that the world will know your name

So tell me your name

Do you care, about all the little things or anything at all?

I wanna feel, all the chemicals inside I wanna feel

I wanna sunburn, just to know that I'm alive

To know I'm alive

Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know

If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go

Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon

Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

Do you believe, in the day that you were born

Tell me do you believe?

Do you know, that everyday's the first of the rest of your life

Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know

If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go

Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon

Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

This is to one last day in the shadows

And to know a brother's love

This is to New York City angels

And the rivers of our blood

This is to all of us, to all of us

Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know

If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go

Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon

Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

You can tell me all your thoughts, about the stars that fill polluted skies

And show me where you run to, when no one's left to take your side

But don't tell me where the road ends, cause I just don't wanna know,

No I don't wanna know

Don't tell me if I'm dying / Don't tell me if I'm dying / Don't tell me if I'm dying

-------------------------------------------------<3<3-------------------------------

A Bad Dream - Keane

Why do I have to fly

Over every town up and down the line?

I'll die in the clouds above

And you that I defend, I do not love.

I wake up, it's a bad dream,

No one on my side,

I was fighting

But I just feel too tired

To be fighting,

Guess I'm not the fighting kind.

Where will I meet my fate?

Baby I'm a man, I was born to hate.

And when will I meet my end?

In a better time you could be my friend.

[chorus]I wake up, it's a bad dream,

No one on my side,

I was fighting

But I just feel too tired

To be fighting,

Guess I'm not the fighting kind.

Wouldn't mind it

If you were by my side

But you're long gone,

Yeah you're long gone now.

Where do we go?

I don't even know,

My strange old face,

And I'm thinking about those days,

And I'm thinking about those days.

I wake up, it's a bad dream,

No one on my side,

I was fighting

But I just feel too tired

To be fighting,guess I'm not the fighting kind.

Wouldn't mind it

If you were by my side

But you're long gone,yeah you're long gone now.

-----------------------<3>

Now , what else.... ooh, icons! LOVELY ICONS! ^_^

Silly incomplete Posts! ^_^

2007-10-27T19:57:00.000+08:00

Yes, as you probably figured out, my incessantly stupid internet f'ed up haha. I think it's because I exceeeded the bandwidth thingy...blah blah...
Anyways...erm...
Ooh....right....
Errrrrrrrrrrr
Let's see...
Ah, well, first, a song or two that I've been listening to that kinda needed pastage hahahaa ^_^
Where are you Now - Britney Spears

Calling out your name
Your face is everywhere
I'm reaching out to you
To find that you're not there
I wake up every night
To see the state I'm in
It's like an endless fight
I never seem to win
I can't go on as long as I believe
Can't let go when I keep wondering

CHORUS:
Where are you now, what have you found
Where is your heart, when I'm not around
Where are you now, you gotta let me know
Oh baby, so I can let you go

I can hear your voice
The ring of yesterday
It seems so close to me
But yet so far away
I should let it out
To save what's left of me
And close the doors of doubt
Revive my dignity
But, I can't go on as long as I believe
Can't let go when I keep wondering

Repeat CHORUS

I should let it out, it's time to let you go
Oh baby, I just want to know

And of course :
Secondhand Serenade - It's Not Over
My tears run down like razor blades
And no, I'm not the one to blame, it's you
Or is it me?
And all the words we never say come out
And now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do

(chorus)
But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over

I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
I'm shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just want to crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die
I won't let it die

(Repeat Cho.)
I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over, we could be... forever (2X)
It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over

My tears run down like razor bladesAnd no, I'm not the one to blame, it's youOr is it me?And all the words we never say come outAnd now we're all ashamedAnd there's no sense in playing gameswhen you've done all you can do(chorus)But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?We had the chance to make itNow it's over, it's over, it can't be overI wish that I could take it backBut it's overI lose myself in all these fightsI lose my sense of wrong and rightI cry, I cryI'm shaking from the pain that's in my headI just want to crawl into my bedAnd throw away the life I ledBut I won't let it dieI won't let it die (Repeat Cho.)I'm falling apart, I'm falling apartDon't say this won't last foreverYou're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heartDon't tell me that we will never be togetherWe could be, over and over, we could be... forever (2X)It's not over, it's not over, it's never overUnless you let it take youIt's not over, it's not over, it's not overUnless you let it break youIt's not over
Oh, I love that second song. It's so beautiful. You have to hear it. YOU HAVE TO.
It's beautiful. It's so meaningful. It makes me think about relationships.
I've had this convo with Tim a lot, for some strange reason. I think it's because there's a piece of me that's still recovering from all the hurt I've felt from previous relationships. And now that I've finally met someone who I don't really want to lose, I just find myself wondering all the time what life would be like without them.

So , what're the ways in which I think I could lose someone who mattered a lot to me ?
1. Death : If Tim died, I'm not so sure how I would handle it. I know it's a bit emo of a thing to think about, but it's my blog and i'm bored stiff and I just want to type anything that comes to mind, and ...yeah......
If Tim or my family passed away.... I.......I think I might have a nervous breakdown. I don't think I'd be able to speak for a while, I don't think I'd be able to be a normal person for a bit. Because he's come to mean a lot to me. Even if we weren't dating, and he was just my best friend.... I'd still not be alright to be normal. For that matter, if anyone I know in this year, who's meant a lot to me, died, I would be shattered. Death is such an awful thing. I remember when Zach passed away... and the phone ringing.... and everything suddenly stopping for five seconds, and everyone was sort of looking at each other and wondering what the hell Joanie just said.
I remember crying for 2 hours straight, locked up in the master bathroom, and my mom was at school, and my dad was at work and neither of them knew what had happened and i never told them. I feel so guilty. I should have helped Zach. WHY THE FUCK DID I NOT HELP HIM!?!? WHY THE HECK WAS I NOT THERE FOR HIM !? What kind of a friend was I? I just randomly left and stopped hanging out with him , and just forgot abotu him completly. I'm so screwed up, Im a twisted demented human being......I can't believe I actually did that to him . ..................

Sigh.....
I'm sorry......
I'm sorry, I just had to go off like that, it's just... it's everything's been building up inside me, and I needed to let it out and tell someone and this blog is sort of my outlet.

It's all the OC episodes I've been watching, and all the emo music and icons i've been looking at.
Don't worry, I'm not terminally insane, I'm just therapeuticising myself. Because it's bad to bottle things up, ya know? And i'm STIFF BORED hahaha

oh, let's see...
2. Cheated on
3. One or either changes and they just move on

I hate the whole " Let's just be friends " . Sad, hey.... I've said it so many times, and it rarely occured to me how it could possibly hurt being told something like that. I wouldn't be too upset if tim said that though, because we started out as friends, so it's alright....^_^ v

What else, what else? think net, think!
I guess it'll hurt a tad when i get dumped by him, but I'll move on and find someone else.
Apparently, the sooner you get another bf the faster you actually repair? I think it's like the case of if you're alone you have to face your demons alone? that sort of thing?
Interesting theory that.
So if like..you were surrounded by chickens in a room, all by yourself, it's worse than being with someone else in a room full of chickens?!
........
How do
You get
Into a Room FULL OF CHICKENS?!??!?!?!
Omg.....This reminds me of that thing cam was telling me about chickens and how they get prepared for maccas O_o
I shall post later

These Words Are My Own

2007-10-27T17:08:00.000+08:00

Hey all... =P

Lol, randomly decided to start up my blog again, as you might have noticed, but knowing how often this blog gets read...no one would have. Which strangely enough makes me go EEEKK EKKKEKEKEKEEKEK ZERRRRRRRRR KEOEPO PLOING! Or...in English, YAYYYYYYYY!! ^_^

Omg, so, update update update

New bf. I love him. Yes. I mean it this time. ^_^

Semester 2 Exams are ova! TEE is up next. Sem exams went fairly well.

Have officially graduated.

Mais oui.

Am now a PR of Australia.

YAY! ^_^

Erm.........what else?

Oh erm, I have a myspace. www.myspace.com/xxnuttynetxx

Em.................hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........

Oh, let me tell you about my bf.

Most of you already know him fairly well. Simply because he's just that loud and hyper and insanely friendly that people somehow know that nutjob that is the guy I'm with right now.

He started out as my friend, and walked me to the bus stop every monday, tuesday and thursday, and then we started hanging out a bit more and i tried valiantly to set him up with this girl he liked, but in the process of doing that, i think he started liking me as much as he liked her, and lo and behold, he asks me out, and now we've been going out for 3 months now, or so he tells me. He's got chestnut-brown hair, he's got really twinkly bluey-hazel eyes ( they change colour O_o) and to me, he's really hot. But then again, I'm madly in like with him haha, and that has to mean that I'm blind to his flaws . But i think he's gorgeous, and that he's more than good enough for me. He's the nicest sweetest person I know. If i ever want anything, he gets it for me without me even asking. He's so loving and so adorable and so generous and kind, and he's charming. And he's the geekiest human being alive. He has all these silly stupid jokes about chickens and spaceships and powerthirst that you can't help but laughing. And he gets these really silly expressions on his face that just make you giggle , because he just looks so cute trying to act cool.

His eyes tend to crinkle when he smiles and when he gets sad, his eyebrows tend to bunch together, and he looks really serious and thoughtful and anxious and it just makes me want to hug him and let him know that everything's going to be ok.

There's a massive problem with all this though.

Mom

Doesn't

Know

About

Us.

So I've asked him to be the first guy in my life that i've dated, to go to my mom after exams and ask her if we can go out. =S IT's going to be INTERESTING!

Rebecca was bugging me to update the blog and tell me about my new bf and Laura's heard all about him, and Joanie went emo when she figured out I'm with someone who treats me as well as Tim does. I wish I could go all out and say what I felt for him, but that's something private and this blog is far from private. Also, I don't think he should know too well how much I like him. ^_^

So, instead, i'm just going to post icons . And write some poetry. And put in some quips and stuff. ENJOY! =P

------------------------------------------------------

ICONISATION

That'll do for one post ^_^

(((____)))))_______((((____)))))_____((((____)))

POETRY

Show- Me

Somehow, somewhere, I must have had my eyes closed,

There's no sound, just the breeze, and the sand between my toes,

All over this town, there's a painful cry, but there's no sound,

Suddenly, you're not here, and no one I love is around.

Wake me up, because I'm dreaming without you,

Hold me close, because I'm drowning without you,

Lift me up, the only way that you know,

Don't let go,

Please don't, don't let your sorrow........

Show.

I wished for you so hard it hurt,

Wanted you so bad that, my heart, it got burnt.

Bruised myself in the only way I know,

Let you fly away, why did I let you go?

Look at me, and tell me it's going to be alright,

Hold my hand, carry me through the night,

Kiss my lips, because that's the only touch I know,

All I remember,

Before you let me go.

You almost stayed, you almost came,

You almost said, said my name

You almost held me, you almost loved me,

You almost said, you'd never leave me.

You almost lied, you almost told,

You almost said we'd never grow old,

You almost wanted to be with me,

But you almost wanted , and almost wasn't good enough.

Almost wasn't good enough for me.

Hold me now, like you know it's the last time you'll feel me up against you,

Draw me closer, if that's all you feel you can do,

Don't touch my face, my lips, my hands, my hair,

Don't try to pretend like you ever cared,

I love you, at least I dreamt I did,

Don't destroy my dreams, oh no, don't you bloody dare.

Don't you let go....

Don't let me know....

Don't let your sorrow..

Because I won't let my sorrow........

Show.

00000000000_________________________))))))))))))))))))))))))))___________

Mmhm, emo poem, i know, but it's easier to write emo ones ^_^

Here's another one!

You Break Everything - Me

I'm listening to what you've said,

Trying to get to grips with me and you,

I saw you standing there, buying something for me,

But then , you decided , I wasn't worth the effort, baby,

Well, it's ok, I'm not angry,

Because I was expecting this , actually,

And you, don't look at me that way,

Of course , I'm gonna have the last say

You break everything,

Everything we've ever tried to have been.

So you, go running away, boy,

You keep playing me,

I don't know if I'm coming or going,

You've messed up everything,

You've broken everything,

Are you happy now?

Now, now,don't come running home,

If I'm not worth the effort, then leave me the hell alone,

Now now, don't try to play nice, boy,

Don't play with my feelings, or I'll mess up your ploy,

Please, don't try your luck with me,

I was expecting all this actually,

And nothing more than this would have made me believe

That you

Something's in Your Eye

2007-08-01T17:58:00.000+08:00

So....Blogging again...
So, aside from Emo Josh, River Cruise Ranting.. there's something else.
I have, or should i say, had, a friend, called Adam. I mentioned him a couple of posts ago.
We've stopped talking.
Stopped as in...
Stopped even saying hi to each other, and if we see each other, we look away instantly. It's cold.
There's nothing.
Nothing is said, done.
And ...
I said sorry to him.
Tried to get him to explain what it was i did wrong.
He didn't tell me.
He just blocked me.
So...
I give up.
It's hard not talking to someone, and I've never been through this before.
But it's...
It hurts.
I'm feeling so emo, today, aren't i?
Sigh..
I don't know what to do.
I guess i've lost a friend.
Oh well.
Bye

What To Do When He Loves You

2007-08-01T16:40:00.000+08:00

So...

I just felt like randomly typing and putting up more icons. It's an obsession, I know. It's sad, but yeah.

I found out today that Josh thought that David and I went out while Josh was here and we had already gotten together. And the truth is, I did, I was with David for just one night, but only because I felt sorry for him. David is a nice guy, but...

Apparently, Josh almost cried when one of the dudes he was with said, oh, David and Net went out, and blah blah. And he was upset because he kinda always suspected that maybe i didn't feel quite as intensely for him as he does for me. And now, when I'm finally getting to like him, he doesn't really believe me that much , because he's scared that I'm still pretending and i'm too afraid to hurt him or something.

Does this make sense?

I finally like him, and he's starting to question my feelings for him.

This is too complex.

Haha.

Erm...yeah...

So...

He's not really saying anything. But, you can sorta tell from the tone of his voice that he's kinda anxious to please.

I don't know.

I know in my last few posts I've been like, omg, I love him, etc.

but when I say love, i mean like a lot. But I don't LOVE him. Not the way he loves me.

Sigh....

I don't know.

You always want what you can't have, and I can have him. It's a case of...

Maybe I'm just scared of committing to one person? That's it. That's exactly it.

I am, by nature, a playgirl. And that's a bad bad bad bad bad thing to be.

Sigh...

Confused.

Whatever.

Anyways...

My everpresent problem is...

The Student Council River Cruise.

Do I go, and end up going alone?

Or stay at home and not bother wasting 25 bucks?

I guess the 2nd proposition sounds good.

I don't want to go with anyone from outside school really. I mean, not with people I know.

I wouldn't mind going if i had a date, but, we all know, that won't happen either.

So....

Yeah.

Depressed now.

Bye.

All Hail the Heart Breaker - The Spill Canvas

I had the notion that you'd make me change my ways

My bad habits would be gone in a matter of days

I had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes

To a whole new world that had since been in disguise

But that day will most likely never come for me

And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck to everything you are

So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures

And overanalyze your words

But the truth is that

I've never fallen so hard

It's taken everything in me

Just to forget your sweater so far

I had the notion that you'd make me forget the world

But your undecisive mind shows me that you are "just another girl"

I had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real

What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams

Maybe then you'd know how I feel

But that day will most likely never come for me

And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck to everything you are

So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures

And overanalyze your words

But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard

It's taken everything in me

Just to forget your sweater so far

I can honestly say that I never, ever, ever felt this way

Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin

These are the parts of your body that cause my comatose to begin

I can honestly say that I never, ever, ever felt this way

Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin

These are the parts of your body that cause my comatose to begin

I will sleep another day

I don't really need to anyway

What's the point when my dreams are infected with words you used to say

I will breathe in a moment

As long as I keep my distance

I wouldn't want to go messing anything up

So don't go worrying about me

It's not like I think about you constantly

So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect your life anymore

I knew it the moment you walked into the door

So don't go worrying about me

It's not like I think about this constantly

So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect your life anymore

I knew it the moment you walked into the door

I'll let you get the best of me

Because there's nothing else that I do well

I'll let you get the best of me

Because there's nothing else that I do well

I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker

I guess that's how this one's gonna go

I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker

You've got me down on my knees and I proclaim "All hail the heartbreaker"

------------------------> Josh just sent me this song. I had to update my blog just to put these lyrics in.

I think.

I don't know.

I don't love him. I'm sure.

I Was Losing Myself To Somebody Else

2007-07-31T19:09:00.000+08:00

So...

Heyaz all ^_^

I felt like blogging again. I don't know why. Because I feel like putting up more icons.

I've had a fairly awesome day today, come to think of it, in spite of the rain and the general demeanour of the people in our college ( excluding my friends who consistently remain as hyper and pep... which , btw, I love, and I'm sooo glad I have perky friends. Life would suck without perkiness. If everyone was emo (refer to previous post hahahaha) then that would really really bite. And I mean chomp chomp chomp bite)

So, anyways, yeah....

Oh, I remember now what it was I wanted to write. I got back home today and checked my email. No, goofball, that's not the exciting bit.

Here's the exciting bit.

Josh sent me an email from Victoria, where he's gone, because he's the captain of his hockey team, and his hockey teams gone to Victoria for this finals game and for this prize presentation ceremony. And so I haven't seen him since sunday. Which is ok. it's been like two days. I can live.

He calls me all the time. In fact all the time haha...

And he texts me all the time.

Anyways, his email.

Erm, it was really sweet and really lovey dovey. that's why i'm documenting it.

Josh's Letter

Dear Nethra ( he calls me by my first name for some strange reason, he says its a pretty name, and it should be said more often ),

Just got up. We scored tons of points at the match, tq for asking, it was awesome. Kinda kept looking at the crowd, expecting you to be there screaming that high pitched scream of yours, and going, " Josh, Josh, Josh ", and getting everyone revved up. My mini-cheerleader ;). I miss you. I miss you tons. I kinda think about you every second of the day. It's weird. And it's complicating me.

See, I can't play the game straight anymore. I was supposed to be listening to the coach and he was saying, Josh, you're the skip, you need to do blah blah blah blah oh..I wonder if she's in school right now....Wish I could call her....haha, that text she sent last night was hilarious.....she's got such a pretty smile.... and then i get whacked across the top of my head by David or Gerry, who's that guy I introduced ya to at T's. And I come back to earth, from all my pretty little thoughts of you. God. Help me. I sound so mad. It's so odd, but i feel like i have to tell you all this. Like.. I need you to know. I need to tell someone. Davo and my other mates would probably crack up that I've gone nutso for you. But hey, you're worth getting laughed at, I reckon. What are you upto? Done anything special since i left? Send me pics of you. The ones on my phone aren't enough. I know, I sound obsessive, but if love's a crime, then i'm guilty.

I know I sound absolutely cheesy, and my cheese rating is really high. But come on, give me a break. I love you.I do love you. I realised that this morning when I got up. I had the sweetest dream. It was you and me just sitting at that park we went to, near your house. Just sitting there and kinda being close. and it was like, I just couldn't stop smiling, I could almost smell that perfume you said you wear only when you go out partying, that one that smells a bit like hershey's nuggets. I imagined the feeling of your hand and my hand and them together. I think I've read too many of my mom's romance novels, Ha Ha. I feel like flying back right now, and just pulling you close and kissing you, and doing all sorts of things, that i'd rather you didn't know about. I know how you feel about that. And it's ok. I understand. I'm not going to push you to do anything. I may not even turn out to be the one for you.But you're the one for me. I know that. I know it like I know that tomorrow's a Wednesday, I know it like I know that we won the finals tonight, I know it like I know that when I get back I'm going to tell you in person how much I love you.

I went out with the gang last night after the game, and we went clubbing. Couldn't dance with any chicks, because I just... I can't. It's like, I see another girl, and I'm like...she's nothing compared to my girl. You're my girl. You're.... you're perfection. even though you keep saying you're not. You are. You make my world so much better.

I just pushed the soppy limit. But I'm not afraid of you getting weirded out. I know you're not going to judge me.

What was I talking about? Ha Ha, something about being around you or thinking of you, makes me a bit like you, and how you tend to go off on a complete tangential line of thought. I think it's your absolute freedom of thought and your unrestricted vivaciousness that just.... It Fills Me.

I can't keep writing like this. I need to talk to you, I need to call you, my hands are way too twitchy, it's like, it keeps going to the mobile, and I keep looking at the clock and waiting for it to turn to 8, so that it's finally 5 for you. Stupid timezones. Same bloody country and.... yeah, sorry, I promised not to swear. I'm going to call you now. I love you.

Joshua.

I love how he writes. He's won loadsa prizes for writing and poetry and stuff, so he's a really good writer. And his mom used to write romance novels, but because she had to take care of Josh, she stopped writing, and she went into the MAJORLY RICH family business. Josh is rolling in it because of that.

I miss him too. I miss yaz, Josh, and you're not too soppy.

He called me right after that, and I was like, ahha, no, haven't got home yet. Oh, yeah, yeah, life's usual. And then I hung up and came home and read this.

Right, gotta go.

Some iconisation.

Some songs.

Think Twice - Eve 6
When all is said and done

And dead does he love you

The way that I do

Breathing in lighting

Tonight's for fighting

I feel the hurt so physical

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around I'll let you feel the burn

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around come around no more

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around I'll let you feel the burn

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around no more

She spreads her love

She burns me up

I can't let go

I can't get out

I've said enough

Enough by now

I can't let go

I can't get out

Wait till the day you finally see

I've been here waiting patiently

Crossing my fingers and my t's

She cried on my shoulder begging please

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around I'll let you feel the burn

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around come around no more

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around I'll let you feel the burn

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around no more

She spreads her love

She burns me up

I can't let go

I can't get out

I've said enough

Enough by now

I can't let go

I can't get out

What is it you really want

I'm tired of asking

You come wasted

When I showed up and he was there

I tried my best to grin and bear

And took the stairs but didn't stop at the street

And as we speak I'm going down

Cause she spread her love

And burnt me up

I can't let go

I can't get out

I've said enough

Enough by now

I can't let go

I can't get out

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around I'll let you feel the burn

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around come around no more

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around I'll let you feel the burn

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around no more

Download that Song. It's the BEST SONG IN THE WORLD for me at the moment. I'm just addicted to it. It's on constant replay. *dies*

Another song , kinda inspired by my friend May and her situation with her boyfriend. It's complex. but he wants her to change, and she can't:

Everything I'm Not - The Veronicas

Oh no don't go changing

That's what you told me from the start

Thought you were something different

That's when it all just fell apart

Like you're so perfect

And I can't measure up

But I'm not perfect

Just all messed up

I was losing myself to somebody else

But now I see

I don't wanna pretend so this is the end

Of you and me

Cause the girl that you want

She was tearing us apart

Cause she's everything, everything I'm not

It's not like I need somebody

Telling me where I should go at night

Don't worry you'll find somebody

Someone to tell how to live their life

Cause you're so perfect

And no one measures up

Yeah, all by yourself

You're all messed up

I was losing myself to somebody else

But now I see

I don't wanna pretend so this is the end

Of you and me

Cause the girl that you want

She was tearing us apart

Cause she's everything, everything

I'm not

Now wait a minute

Because of you

I never knew all the things that I have

Hey don't ya get it

I'm not going anywhere with you tonight

Cause this is my life

I was losing myself to somebody else

But now I see

I don't wanna pretend so this is the end

Of you and me

Cause the girl that you want

She was tearing us apart

Cause she's everything, everything I'm not

But now I see

I don't wanna pretend so this is the end

Of you and me

Cause the girl that you want

She was tearing us apart

Cause she's everything, everything

I'm not

[-------------------------------------Everything I'm Not -----------------------------------]

And some pics from my mobile phone, now that i've finally got it working ^_^